Permissive parenting vs Pragmatic parenting
A famous quote on parenting says “parenting is a verb ..it’s not about who you are as parent, it is about what you do as a parent “.
In the present scenario it’s also about what type or category of parenting you belong to, are you a
‘Permissive parent’ or a ‘pragmatic parent’?
Most of the parents who are busy in being the provider and also carving a nieche for themselves would find this categorisation worthless worthless.
Parenting Is task which continues 24/7 to till the last breath . Who has the time to qualify and quantify parenting? A question asked very often present generation parents.
Let’s first try and understand what is permissive parenting?
1) A permissive parent more or less
functions with out any set of rules or boundaries.Most of the time such a parent does not believe in defining or concurring to any orthodox defination of parenting.
2) Since the parent does not believe in limiting the child with in the confines of any restrictions ,more often than not the child gets by his/her unreasonable demands. Parent has no issues in over indulging the child despite knowing it’s ill-effects on the child.
3)A permissive parent is soft and nurturing no doubt but may fail to provide concrete guidance to the child . A permissive parent believes in allowing the child to take major decisions of life . The expectations of a permissive parent are quite different and rather low from the child .This thought process can be determental in the academic/ professional/ growth of the child.A permissive parent prioritises the immediate happiness and mental state of the child and is over all concerned about the self esteem of the child.
A permissive parent is a well meaning parent but the long rope which the parent extends to the child can be dangerous and damaging . For instance, a permissive parent may allow the teenage child to explore and experience the dark side of growing up . The intentions of the parent is that the child will learn about life by self exploration . However this can prove to be damaging and can bring harm to the child’s way.
Pragmatic parenting on the other hand is also known as gentle parenting. A pragmatic parent is kind, systematic yet believes in rules regulations and limits.
1) A pragmatic parent totally believes in a balanced and focussed approach.Despite hectic work schedule and social comittments a pragmatic parent’s main focus is the overall development of the child.
3)A pragmatic parent is a firm parent ,i.e some one who will impose restrictions and boundries yet is ready to accomodate and make few changes here and there to keep the child happy.Adaptability and flexibility are some of the tools which a pragmatic parent will use as per the situation.
4) A pragmatic parent ‘s major focus is to teach the child survival techniques and lessons in life skills. Teaching problem solving methods, taking responsibility, accepting failure and learning from them are very high on the to do list of such a parent .Infact as per various reports 75%to 80% parents would like to be pragmatic/ gentle parents and are adapting the methods of this kind of parenting style.
In nutshell one can say that a balanced approach to parenting is what can be described as best method of parenting .
Styles of parenting may vary but the main objective of any parenting style is to help the child develop into a happy and reasonable human being .
As parent, I don’t think there is any set SOP of parenting.. parenting can be best described as process which is dynamic and has to adopt to different shades of life.
Permissive parenting… explore and experience on your own… joy ful yet not without perlis
Pragmatic parenting..kind yet firm and focussed
