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Sonali Dutta published in Blogs

The Power of Appreciation: It needs Courage to Encourage Your Child

As parents, we strive to nurture our children, guiding them through life’s challenges. But one powerful tool often overlooked in parenting is appreciation. It’s more than just saying “good job” — it’s about recognizing their efforts, nurturing self-esteem, and helping them grow. What’s more, it takes real courage to consistently encourage our kids in a world that tends to focus more on correcting mistakes than celebrating effort.

“Children need models more than they need critics.” – Joseph Joubert

Parenting can be overwhelming, and between juggling work, house chores, and family demands, it’s easy to focus on what isn’t going well. However, shifting to a mindset of appreciation can transform the atmosphere in your home and foster stronger connections with your children.

Why Appreciation Matters

Children, just like adults, thrive on positive reinforcement. When they feel appreciated, they feel valued, which boosts their self-worth and encourages them to continue positive behaviors. They start to internalize the belief that they are capable and worthy — a crucial part of emotional development.

Fun Fact: When you express appreciation to your child, both of you experience a release of dopamine — the “feel-good” brain chemical. It’s an instant boost of positivity!

Encouragement Builds Courage

Appreciation is more than just praising your child when they succeed. It’s about recognizing their effort, especially when things don’t go perfectly. For instance, imagine your child spends hours on a project that doesn’t turn out right. Instead of focusing on the mistakes, say, “I’m proud of how much effort you put into this.” This small shift encourages a growth mindset — the belief that effort is what truly counts.

 “Children are apt to live up to what you believe of them.” – Lady Bird Johnson

When we appreciate our kids, we send a powerful message: we believe in them. This belief fosters their own self-confidence. Children who feel appreciated are more likely to take on challenges, knowing their effort will be acknowledged, even when the results aren’t perfect.

Small Acts of Appreciation Matter

It’s not just about recognizing the big milestones — appreciating small, everyday actions is key. Did your child help with chores without being asked? Thank them. Did they show kindness to a friend? Let them know you noticed.

These small moments teach children that their actions matter, that kindness and effort are valued, and that you see them even when life is busy.

Injecting Fun Into Appreciation

Appreciation doesn’t have to be serious all the time! You can make it fun, which might even make it more memorable for your child.

For instance, instead of saying, “Thanks for cleaning your room,” try something like, “Wow, did a magical cleaning fairy visit? Your room looks AMAZING!” Adding humor lightens the mood and reinforces the positive behavior in a playful way.

Similarly, if your child stayed patient during a long day of errands, you could say, “I think you just won the ‘Ultimate Patience Champion’ award!” This adds a lighthearted touch to your appreciation, turning it into a fun moment for both of you.

“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.” – Peggy O’Mara

Encouraging a Growth Mindset

One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is the courage to keep trying, even when things are difficult. By appreciating their effort, rather than just their results, you help them develop a growth mindset — a belief that challenges help them grow rather than defining their limitations.

For example, when your child struggles with a task, avoid jumping in to fix it or pointing out the mistakes. Instead, you can say, “I can see you’re working hard. Keep going, you’ll figure it out.” This type of encouragement helps build resilience and perseverance, qualities that are essential for lifelong success.

How to Practice Daily Appreciation

Bringing more appreciation into your daily routine is simple with these steps:

  1. Be specific: Rather than general praise, be clear about what you’re appreciating. For example, “I noticed how focused you were while doing your homework today.”
  2. Catch them doing good: Notice the small positive behaviors, whether it’s helping around the house or being kind to a sibling, and comment on them.
  3. Appreciate effort, not just results: Whether they succeeded or struggled, appreciate the hard work they put in.
  4. Praise and correction at separate times: Don’t mix praise and correction in the same conversation. Let praise stand alone, and save any corrective feedback for another moment.
  5. Praise must be genuine and sincere: Children can sense when praise is forced or exaggerated. Be honest, and let them know that you truly mean what you say.
  6. Praise in public, correct in private: When your child does something commendable, acknowledge it in front of others. But when corrections are needed, keep them private to maintain their dignity.
  7. Accentuate the positive: Focus on what your child is doing right rather than constantly pointing out mistakes. Highlight their strengths and positive actions.
  8. Use humor: Add some fun! Playful comments or silly awards can make appreciation even more special.

 “A child who is appreciated will become an adult who appreciates.” – Unknown

Conclusion: The Ripple Effect of Appreciation

Taking the time to appreciate your child does more than just make them feel good for a moment. You’re teaching them to value themselves, to keep going when things get tough, and to appreciate the effort and kindness in others.

The courage to encourage is a gift that keeps on giving. As you practice appreciation, you’ll see your child’s confidence grow, their willingness to embrace challenges expand, and your relationship strengthen.

So, take a moment today to appreciate your child — for the big things, the small things, and everything in between. You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes in their life and yours.

Ms. Sonali Dutta

Parenting Coach

Contact: 76088 89728

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Priti Manoj Karnavar published in Blogs

Power of appreciation

The Power of Appreciation in Child Development:

 Six Principles to Nurture Growth.

 

Appreciation is a cornerstone of healthy child development. It shapes a child’s self-esteem, motivation, and social skills. When children feel valued and recognized, they are more likely to thrive in their learning and interactions. Here are six essential principles of appreciation that can enhance your approach to nurturing a child’s growth.

 

  • Be Specific When Praising

 

Vague praise like “Good job!” often falls flat. Instead, be specific about what you’re acknowledging. For instance, saying, “I loved how you shared your toys with your friend today!” not only highlights the positive behaviour but also reinforces the value of sharing. Specific praise helps children understand what they did well, encouraging them to repeat those behaviours.

 

  • Praise the Efforts/Progress, Not Only Results

 

Focusing solely on outcomes can create pressure and fear of failure. Instead, celebrate the effort and progress a child makes, regardless of the final result. For example, saying, “I’m so proud of how hard you worked on that puzzle!” emphasizes perseverance and resilience. This approach fosters a growth mindset, teaching children that effort is just as important as success.

 

  • Praise and Correction Should Be at Separate Times

 

Mixing praise with correction can confuse children and undermine the effectiveness of both. When you need to offer constructive feedback, do so separately from praise. For example, acknowledge their hard work first, then address areas for improvement later. This strategy allows children to fully absorb your appreciation without feeling overwhelmed by criticism.

 

 

 

  • Praise Must Be Genuine and Sincere

 

Children can sense insincerity, which can lead to distrust and diminish their motivation. Make sure your praise is heartfelt and authentic. If you struggle to find something to praise, take a moment to observe your child’s efforts closely. Genuine appreciation fosters a strong emotional connection and encourages children to take pride in their achievements.

 

  • Praise in Public – Correct in Private

 

Public acknowledgment can boost a child’s confidence and reinforce positive behaviour. When a child does something commendable, celebrate it openly—like praising their performance in front of family or friends. However, keep corrections private to maintain their dignity and self-esteem. This balance helps children feel valued while also supporting their growth.

 

  • Accentuate the Positive

 

In every situation, there are opportunities to focus on the positives. By highlighting what children do well, you create an environment where they feel safe to explore and take risks. Instead of saying, “You missed a few questions on that test,” you could say, “You did really well on the questions you understood!” This encourages a sense of accomplishment and motivates them to keep trying.

 

  • Conclusion

The power of appreciation in child development is profound. By applying these six principles, you can help nurture a child’s self-esteem, resilience, and overall well-being. Remember, appreciation is not just a response; it’s a vital part of parenting and teaching. By making appreciation a regular practice, you contribute to a positive and supportive environment where children can flourish.

 

Start today: how can you show appreciation to a child in your life?

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KP - The Parenting Coach by Dr. Kapil Bhatia published in Articles, Blogs

Multiple Intelligence

The theory of multiple intelligences was developed in 1983 by Dr. Howard Gardner, professor of education at Harvard University. It suggests that the traditional notion of intelligence, based on I.Q. testing, is far too limited. Instead, Dr. Gardner proposes eight different intelligences to account for a broader range of human potential in children and adults. These intelligences are:

  • Linguistic intelligence (“word smart”)
  • Logical-mathematical intelligence (“number/reasoning smart”)
  • Spatial intelligence (“picture smart”)
  • Bodily-Kinesthetic intelligence (“body smart”)
  • Musical intelligence (“music smart”)
  • Interpersonal intelligence (“people smart”)
  • Intrapersonal intelligence (“self smart”)
  • Naturalist intelligence (“nature smart”)

Dr. Gardner says that our schools and culture focus most of their attention on linguistic and logical-mathematical intelligence. We esteem the highly articulate or logical people of our culture. However, Dr. Gardner says that we should also place equal attention on individuals who show gifts in the other intelligences: the artists, architects, musicians, naturalists, designers, dancers, therapists, entrepreneurs, and others who enrich the world in which we live.

Unfortunately, many children who have these gifts don’t receive much reinforcement for them in school. Many of these kids, in fact, end up being labeled “learning disabled,” “ADD (attention deficit disorder,” or simply underachievers, when their unique ways of thinking and learning aren’t addressed by a heavily linguistic or logical-mathematical classroom.

 

The theory of multiple intelligences proposes a major transformation in the way our schools are run. It suggests that teachers be trained to present their lessons in a wide variety of ways using music, cooperative learning, art activities, role play, multimedia, field trips, inner reflection, and much more. The good news is that the theory of multiple intelligences has grabbed the attention of many educators around the country, and hundreds of schools are currently using its philosophy to redesign the way it educates children. The bad news is that there are thousands of schools still out there that teach in the same old dull way, through dry lectures, and boring worksheets and textbooks. The challenge is to get this information out to many more teachers, school administrators, and others who work with child

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KP - The Parenting Coach by Dr. Kapil Bhatia published in Articles

Multiple Intelligence Theory

The theory of multiple intelligences was developed in 1983 by Dr. Howard Gardner, professor of education at Harvard University. It suggests that the traditional notion of intelligence, based on I.Q. testing, is far too limited. Instead, Dr. Gardner proposes eight different intelligences to account for a broader range of human potential in children and adults. These intelligences are:

  • Linguistic intelligence (“word smart”)
  • Logical-mathematical intelligence (“number/reasoning smart”)
  • Spatial intelligence (“picture smart”)
  • Bodily-Kinesthetic intelligence (“body smart”)
  • Musical intelligence (“music smart”)
  • Interpersonal intelligence (“people smart”)
  • Intrapersonal intelligence (“self smart”)
  • Naturalist intelligence (“nature smart”)

Dr. Gardner says that our schools and culture focus most of their attention on linguistic and logical-mathematical intelligence. We esteem the highly articulate or logical people of our culture. However, Dr. Gardner says that we should also place equal attention on individuals who show gifts in the other intelligences: the artists, architects, musicians, naturalists, designers, dancers, therapists, entrepreneurs, and others who enrich the world in which we live. Unfortunately, many children who have these gifts don’t receive much reinforcement for them in school. Many of these kids, in fact, end up being labeled “learning disabled,” “ADD (attention deficit disorder,” or simply underachievers, when their unique ways of thinking and learning aren’t addressed by a heavily linguistic or logical-mathematical classroom. The theory of multiple intelligences proposes a major transformation in the way our schools are run. It suggests that teachers be trained to present their lessons in a wide variety of ways using music, cooperative learning, art activities, role play, multimedia, field trips, inner reflection, and much more. The good news is that the theory of multiple intelligences has grabbed the attention of many educators around the country, and hundreds of schools are currently using its philosophy to redesign the way it educates children. The bad news is that there are thousands of schools still out there that teach in the same old dull way, through dry lectures, and boring worksheets and textbooks. The challenge is to get this information out to many more teachers, school administrators, and others who work with child.

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RIDDHI MISTRY published in Blogs

The Best Teachers Are Our Children: 6 Lessons We Can Learn from Them

As parents, we strive to guide and teach our children, but often the most profound lessons come from them. Children, with their natural curiosity and open hearts, offer us life lessons that are easy to overlook. Here’s how you can embrace these valuable teachings and incorporate them into your parenting journey.

1. Embrace Curiosity
Lesson: Children are innately curious, always asking questions and exploring their surroundings.

Advice: Nurture this curiosity by creating an environment where questions and exploration are encouraged. It fosters a love for learning and builds critical thinking skills. Join your child in discovering new things try a science experiment, visit a museum, or go on a nature walk. Ask your child to think of questions along the way, and let them lead the conversation. You’ll both learn something new!

Game Idea: Create a “Question of the Day” jar where you and your child can drop in interesting questions to explore together.

2. Live in the Moment
Lesson: Kids can live fully in the present, deeply engaging in whatever they’re doing.

Advice: Practice mindfulness with your child. Simple activities like drawing, playing a game, or walking in nature are great ways to focus on the present. This helps reduce stress for you and your child while teaching the value of fully engaging in the moment.

Trick: Try a “Mindful Moment” challenge set a timer for five minutes, and during that time, both of you focus on one activity, noticing every detail. Afterwards, talk about how it made you feel to focus on one thing together.

3. Express Emotions Freely


Lesson: Children express their emotions openly, whether they’re happy, sad, or frustrated.
Advice: Create a safe space for your child to express their emotions without judgment. This builds emotional intelligence and helps them develop healthy ways to manage feelings. Share your own emotions too showing that it’s okay to feel vulnerable can foster deeper connections.

Game Idea: Use “Emotion Flashcards” to help your child identify and express what they’re feeling. You can even turn it into a fun role-play game where both of you act out different emotions!

4. Be Fearless


Lesson: Children approach new experiences with excitement and fearlessness.

Advice: Encourage your child to try new things, even if they fail. Focus on the effort rather than the outcome, and celebrate their willingness to take risks. This helps build confidence and a growth mindset. As a parent, step out of your own comfort zone by trying something new together whether it’s learning a new skill or visiting a place you’ve never been.

Trick: Create a “Courage Jar.” Every time your child (or you!) tries something new or challenging, write it on a slip of paper and place it in the jar. Review your courage moments together at the end of the month!

5. Find Joy in Simple Things


Lesson: Kids can find joy in the simplest things a puddle, a leaf, or a cardboard box becomes a source of happiness.

Advice: Slow down and enjoy life’s simple pleasures with your child. Engage in small, joyful activities like playing at the park, reading stories, or baking together. These moments create lasting memories and teach children that happiness can be found in everyday experiences.

Game Idea: Try a “Joy Hunt” around the house or in the neighborhood both of you take turns finding and sharing things that make you smile. It could be a colorful flower, a soft blanket, or even a silly face!

6. Show Unconditional Love


Lesson: Children love unconditionally and seek the same from their parents.

Advice: Show your child that your love is constant, no matter their behavior or achievements. Spend quality time with them, listen to their stories, and be fully present in your interactions. This builds trust and a strong foundation for your relationship.

Trick: Play the “Gratitude Game” before bedtime each of you shares three things you love or appreciate about the other. This reinforces your bond and helps your child understand the depth of your unconditional love.

By embracing these lessons from children, we can become better parents and individuals. Let’s learn from our little ones and create a nurturing environment where both parents and children can thrive.

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Sayed Israr Ali Ishaque published in Blogs

Raising Compassionate Children

Parenting is not just about ensuring children’s cognitive growth but also about nurturing their emotional and social well-being.  Quality time means engaging in meaningful conversations, connecting, and being emotionally available.
If parents are constantly distracted by phones or busy schedules, they miss valuable opportunities to meet their children’s social needs and understand their emotions.

Many parents focus heavily on academic success, aiming for good grades and prestigious schools, believing this will secure their child’s future. However, by neglecting emotional and social development, children may grow up disconnected, materialistic, and lacking empathy.
Without nurturing these qualities, they may become more focused on personal gain than on contributing to society through acts of kindness and charity. A balanced approach to parenting, where both cognitive growth and emotional nurturing are prioritized, is essential for raising compassionate, well-rounded individuals.

#SmartParenting #HappyParenting
Blog by Sayed Israr
Parent Coach

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Sayed Israr Ali Ishaque published in Blogs

Why Emotional Growth Matters

Parenting is not just about ensuring children’s cognitive growth but also about nurturing their emotional and social well-being.  Quality time means engaging in meaningful conversations, connecting, and being emotionally available.
If parents are constantly distracted by phones or having busy schedules, they miss valuable opportunities to meet their children’s social needs and understand their emotions.

Many parents focus heavily on academic success, aiming for good grades and prestigious schools, believing this will secure their child’s future. However, by neglecting emotional and social development, children may grow up disconnected, materialistic, and lacking empathy.
Without nurturing these qualities, they may become more focused on personal gain than on contributing to society through acts of kindness and charity. A balanced approach to parenting, where both cognitive growth and emotional nurturing are prioritized, is essential for raising compassionate, well-rounded individuals.

#SmartParenting #HappyParenting
Blog by Sayed Israr
Parent Coach

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Anupama Mohla published in Blogs

A CONVERSATION BETWEEN GRIEF AND HAPPINESS

A conversation between grief and happiness
One day over a cup of coffee grief came and sat next to me and said, “Hey how are you? Can you feel my presence? I am there to stay!”
“OK, Sure,” I said with a sigh. “You can stay as long as you want as you have always been my best friend.”
“Really, mocked happiness who has recently become my friend.
Well, the two of my friends over a period of time have now become close contestants to the point wherein I had to choose between the two!!
Consider this. Grief has taken me to all those dark places where no one would ever imagine. But happiness came and at a very challenging time that helped me face the situation with resilience and positivity.
This huge conflict of emotions, made me come to a juncture where I would not want to feel intimated or inhibited by either of my ‘dear’ friends.
Reason was very clear, I felt so comfortable talking to grief that happiness took a toll on me most of the times.
“Stay on”… came the message from grief. But soon happiness took over and said, “move out because I need some space to interact with my friend.”
“Hell, you know humankind is obsessed with grief, they love me, and shield my very existence”, blurted grief.
The conflict came to such a hilt that I had to decide between either of my friends.
And to the dismay of grief, I chose my new friend HAPPINESS.
Disappointed over my decision, grief said, “I introduced you to your feelings first.” Surprised over this, happiness said, “This is where you finish.”
Self opiniated grief said, “I lead the path.” Happiness said, “but I am the destination.”
Grief said, “I will always be your shadow.” Happiness blurted, ” Your shadow ends where I bring sunshine.”
This brawl was pissing me off as grief crawled over my shoulder and said, “I may be creepy, but I last a lifetime.” Happiness smiled and said, “Nothing lasts a lifetime, including life. What on earth are you talking about. You may follow me, but I will destroy you with my light as you reside in darkness.”
This is the state of all humans, wherein each day is a struggle between grief and happiness in our mind.
We all go through this struggle every day, live with it, rich or poor, privileged or underprivileged, whatever the age or gender!
Each time we decide to befriend any one of them, makes us or breaks us in the most spectacular manner we choose it to be.
So, friends, this is a choice that you have to make as both and happiness will extend their hands to connect with you. You have only one life- Be grateful or regretful. It’s your choice that will your life worthwhile or worthlessness.
I chose happiness, and grief keeps asking me every now and then for old times’ sake, “when do we meet again.”
Be very clear about what choices you make in life, cause what you choose becomes your belief, your belief becomes your action and that action carves your path to your ultimate destination.
So, CONTROL, ALT, DELETE all negative emotions before you upload some positive, sincere and transparent emotions.
In this life or next, grief and happiness would always be there to shake hands with you.
The life is yours, the decision you make will make your life the way you want it to be.
SO LIVE TO DIE ONLY FOR HAPPINESS…
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Nirmal Deepa published in Articles, Blogs, Inspiration

What is Reparenting and How to Begin

Our childhood is where the subconscious mind is formed.

It’s also where we learn how we process emotions, what relationships look like, how to hold boundaries, and countless other habits and behaviours.

Ideally, our parents are two different people brought up in different situations who allow their children to be seen and heard as the unique individual they are. The reality is that we live in a culture that does not teach conscious awareness, so most of us are born to unconscious parents.

Unconscious parents are repeating the same habits and patterns they’ve learned. They’re operating from a wounded space because of their own unprocessed emotions.

It’s important to understand that parents can only parent from their own level of awareness.

We can only give others what we have practiced giving ourselves.

Some of you reading this might be thinking “My childhood is over, there’s no reason to go back there.” Or “If my childhood is where I learned most of my coping mechanisms, I’m screwed.”

We tend to be protective and defensive around our childhood experience, but the truth is we have a unique opportunity to heal and consciously choose different behaviour as adults. Regardless of what we have experienced in our past.

This process is called reparenting.

Reparenting is the act of giving yourself what you didn’t receive as a child.

Now, it is time for us to do the best we could with our own evolved level of awareness.

Reparenting is our personal responsibility. Anyone can begin the process of reparenting themselves. It takes time, commitment, and patience. There is no quick fix. It will require you to show up every day. But it will allow you to heal and forgive.

The 4 Pillars of reparenting are:

Discipline, Joy, Emotional Regulation, and Self-care.

Depending on your unique childhood experience, some of these will be more difficult than others. Discipline was the most difficult part when there are unspoken and unresolved tantrums. For example, there was no part of you that wanted to wake up early, or really do anything “planned.” It was a process of grieving for past self as well as self-compassion to allow you to view discipline in another way.

Another major struggle for one would be finding joy. Joy is an emotional experience. It’s the product of spontaneity, play, creativity, and pure presence. Part of discovering joy is learning your own unique passions and interests. This is something I had to spend time connecting to. I had to relearn “me.”

Emotional regulation will take lots of effort when you do parent your kids along with reparenting yourselves. With days and months and years of effort you can achieve it and with consistency it can be carried forward in the life journey.

Self-care starts with loving and accepting ourselves in everything we do and whatever we do. When there is a feel of oneness within oneself this can be felt magical.

Reparenting will bring us so much more confidence, empathy, and creative energy.

Here are 5 Steps to Begin:

  1. Breathe consciously:

It’s easy to become overwhelmed. Reparenting is a process. It’s not something that happens overnight. It’s not something that happens over a couple of months. If you try to do too much of this work at once, you’ll become overwhelmed and fall back into old patterns. Follow the steps, do not try to do too much at once.

  1. Keep one small promise to your yourself every day:

This step should be so small that it’s seemingly insignificant. You need to choose something that sets you into a situation where you’ll succeed. Some good examples are: meditate for 2 minutes, go for a 5-minute walk around the block each morning, cook one meal at home every day, future self-journal each night before bed. Time is important here: do not choose any promise that takes more than 10 minutes in total.

  1. Tell someone you trust (other than your parents) that you’re beginning the process:

do not share that you’re doing this with your parents. It’s not necessary, and can be hurtful to them. Remember, they did the best they could with their level of awareness and will likely become defensive if you talk about this. Reparenting is for you. If you have a partner or a close friend, let them know you’re working on this. Support will be helpful.

  1. Use this Mantra:

“What can I give myself right now?” This is a mantra I use often. As children, we weren’t always given what we needed. As adults we have an opportunity to give what we need to ourselves. When you feel yourself having strong emotions, ask this question. Sometimes the answer for me is to disconnect with social media, or a need to get into the sun for 15 minutes. It’s ok if when you begin asking this question you feel confused or like there is no answer. Just continue asking. It’s a practice of connecting with intuition. If you stay committed, you’ll begin to get answers.

  1. Celebrate when you show up:

if we were not recognized, celebrated, and seen for the unique individual of who we are, we will quickly disregard the reality that we are showing up. Reparenting is difficult. Its soul work. Acknowledge the courage it takes. Own your progress. Celebrate the person you’re becoming.

In the journey of reparenting I am happy that I am becoming a different person and I am happy that I discovered it in the process of parenting. Thanks to my wonderful kid for giving me such a golden opportunity of being a parent.

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Soma Dutt Bardhan published in Blogs

Navigating Peer Pressure in Middle School: Parenting Strategies

 

Middle school is a time of exciting growth, change and new experiences. However, it also presents its own unique set of struggles. One such hurdle that our kids have to face during these years is peer pressure. Yes, we all know about peer pressure, but as parents, it can be really tough to figure out how to help our kids handle it on their own.

Now, you might be wondering, do we have any tools or strategies to help our kids navigate this challenge at school more easily? The answer is yes, we do. We all know these tools, even if we might not be fully aware of them. As parents, we can give our kids the support they need to handle these situations with confidence and independence.

Before we dive into the topic, let’s first define ‘Peer Pressure’.

Peer pressure is when our peers or those around us try to persuade us into doing something that goes against our beliefs, morals, and values. While it can be a great motivator for kids to engage in new activities, academic studies, or even pick up a few success skills or habits along the way, more often than not, competition among children is fairly unhealthy.

But then why does it seem so much worse in Middle School? Now, you might be thinking, I’m talking about middle school, but we know that peer pressure can happen in high school, among friends in the community, and beyond.

Middle schoolers are typically between the ages of 11 and 14, covering grades 6 through 8. They are at an age where they are developing their sense of self, making them particularly vulnerable to peer influence. The desire to conform and be accepted often clouds their judgment.

Now that we understand what peer pressure is and why middle schoolers are especially vulnerable, let’s explore a few ways we, as parents, can empower our children to face this challenge head-on.

 

  1. Communication is the key: This is the most vital point in whatever challenges we face as parents on our parenting journey. Little do we realize that this powerful tool is the first solution to many parenting problems. Now, let’s face it, we just don’t know how to communicate with our children the right way. We think we do, but in reality, most of us fail here. We often fail to create a safe space for a conversation to take place. So, first of all, we need to create that space for our children to talk about their day, friends, and any pressures they feel This doesn’t mean we should bombard them with questions. Instead, gauge their mood and temperament, and approach them gently, not like an interviewer. Most importantly, we need to listen to them without immediate judgment or solutions. They need to know that they can approach us with any problem. Once this realization sets in, half the problem is resolved. If you haven’t tried it yet, go ahead and give it a shot.

 

  1. Teach them the ability to make decisions: Next, we need to help our children understand the importance of making their own decisions. This not only helps them feel more confident but also encourages independence. Trust me, I’ve tried it with my son, and it truly makes a difference. Here’s what we can do: engage them in discussions about various real-life scenarios they may encounter, and then role-play responses to peer pressure.

 

  1. Encourage them to think critically: First, let’s understand what critical thinking is about. The ability to analyse, evaluate, and interpret information effectively is critical thinking. Now, you might be wondering, do middle schoolers possess the ability to think critically? Certainly, middle schoolers can indeed develop critical thinking abilities. However, the degree to which they showcase this skill may differ based on their unique levels of maturity and experiences. As parents, we need to encourage our children to think about the consequences of their actions. You can ask questions like, “What do you think will happen if you do that? Or What would you do in this situation?” This will help them to reflect and respond. Most of the time, they come up with great responses.

 

  1. Build their self-esteem: Now how do we do this? Isn’t it an inborn trait? Well, you see, we can always nurture confidence in our children. We need to support their interests and strengths. When we do that, it automatically builds their self-esteem. Remember, a confident child is more resilient against negative peer pressure.

 

  1. Lay down your expectations clearly: Often, we don’t set our expectations clearly with our children. This often leads to confusion and frustration, not just for them but also for us. Setting the right expectations always helps. When we establish and communicate our family’s values and expectations to our children, they are clear and understand what is expected of them. There is no room for confusion there. When they know our stance on certain behaviours, it helps them make better choices.

 

  1. Do what you want them to do: How can we expect our children to behave and act in a certain way when most of the time we fail to show them as parents? Children learn a great deal by observing their parents. Therefore, it’s important for us to model how to handle peer pressure in our own lives. Let’s refrain from discussing situations where others have something we don’t and how we desire it. Instead, let’s exhibit resilience and contentment in front of our children.

 

  1. Teach them the importance of choosing the right company: “A man is known by the company he keeps”. Let’s teach our children to build friendships with peers who share similar values and interests. Positive peer groups can provide support and reduce the impact of negative pressure.

 

  1. Teach them the art of saying “No”: This is extremely important. Let’s equip our children with simple, assertive ways to say no. Phrases like, “No, thanks, I’m not into that,” or “I’d rather not,” can be very effective.

As parents, it’s important that we empower our children to manage peer pressure. Our goal isn’t to shield them from it, but to arm them with confidence so that they can face it head-on. By implementing these simple strategies, like open communication, encouraging independence, and modelling positive behaviour, we can guide our children through these critical years with success.

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Sandhya Lal published in Blogs

NEVER DO THIS DURING EXAMS

NEVER DO THIS DURING EXAMS
Exams are times when everyone is scared.
Exams are times when all parents are stressed.
Exams are times when we want results and nothing else matters.
But what you say and do makes a big difference. So! Here are things you should never do during exams.
Never do this during exams
1. Never Demoralise
EFFECT: It will build their confidence and take their fear away
As parents, we unconsciously put our children down especially in front of others. Oh! He/she is useless and lazy and does not want to work at all. Demoralizing children before their exams puts doubts in their minds about their capabilities. They will not have faith in themselves. Instead say they he is really working hard, and I have faith in my child. Compliment when they are listening but watching.
2. Never talk about past failures
EFFECT- Will have faith in changing their future.
a. Most children work hard during exams because they that these exams are important. They buck up and work harder on their grades. Instead, tell them that you have faith in what they are going to do and achieve in this exam. You need to boost their ego and appreciate their efforts. Talk about things they have done well in the past.
3. Never discuss how was the exam paper.
EFFECT- Eases the mind and puts less pressure on the next exams.
a. What’s done cannot be undone what is written cannot be changed. This could pull down the child and make him get more worried about how the next paper will go. Reduce fear and inculcate happiness.
To know how to be happy you can check my article on the Happiness Dose.
4. Never Demotivate
EFFECT: It will make them believe in themselves that they can change things if they put their mind to it
a. Motivation can even make a lame man walk but if you keep telling your child he/she is useless, fit for nothing, dumb, stupid, looser, irresponsible, or a failure because you are putting thoughts of failure in your child. You are manifesting your thoughts. You are pushing your child to not achieve. Reverse psychology does not work and may backfire. It leads to self-doubt. Motivation is the only way forward for success.
5. Never be away.
EFFECT: They know you will be there with them and they can always count on you for anything
a. At least one parent should be there with the child during exams to make sure everything is going well. In case of an emergency, you are there for the child. Be there so they know that if they need any help, you are easily available and that they mean the world to you during this time. Your work, your social life, and your work should take a break. Being there for them will help build a trusting relationship. Teens like to show they are independent but deep down they need you no matter what, so be there for them. Do not make it look like a forced sacrifice or make them feel guilty that you are there for them. It will not serve the purpose. Be genuinely for them.
It is the simple things we do for our children that make them know that we love them. Be there for them because they need you always. Love them unconditionally. Let them know they are important and special. Treat them with love and affection because exams are difficult times for them, so you must go easy on them.
#bossyourmind #sandhyalalwellnesscoach #sandhyalal #sandhyalalchallapalli #sandhyalalparentalcoach #Parenteen #examtime #betterparenting #deepparenting
Manish Sharmaa DEEP Parenting Sandhya Lal Parental Coach Maadhyam
To know more and want to attend workshops on DEEP Parenting
email us at parentalcoach.sandhyalal@gmail.com

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