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Priti Manoj Karnavar published in Articles

 The Importance of Consensus Among Parents: Building a Stronger Foundation for Our Children.

 The Importance of Consensus Among Parents: Building a Stronger Foundation for Our Children

In today’s fast-paced and ever-evolving world, parenting can often feel like navigating a complex maze. With various influences from technology, education, and societal norms, parents face unique challenges that require careful consideration and collaboration. One of the most crucial aspects of effective parenting is achieving consensus among parents—whether they are in a single household or co-parenting across different homes. This agreement not only strengthens family dynamics but also sets a stable foundation for children to thrive.

 

  • Creating a Unified Front:

When parents are on the same page regarding values, rules, and expectations, it fosters a sense of security for children. A unified approach helps prevent confusion and anxiety. For instance, if one parent allows screen time while the other enforces strict limits, it creates an environment of inconsistency. Children thrive when they know what to expect, and a consensus helps establish clear boundaries that contribute to their emotional well-being.

 

  • Modelling Healthy Relationships:

Consensus among parents exemplifies the importance of cooperation and compromise—key components of any healthy relationship. When children observe their parents working together, they learn vital social skills, such as conflict resolution, empathy, and teamwork. These lessons become foundational for their future relationships, whether with peers, colleagues, or partners.

 

  • Enhancing Communication Skills:

Establishing consensus requires open and honest communication. When parents engage in discussions about their parenting approaches, they model effective communication for their children. This process not only strengthens the parents’ relationship but also teaches children how to express their thoughts and feelings respectfully and constructively. In an age where digital communication dominates, fostering face-to-face discussions can significantly enhance emotional intelligence.

 

  • Supporting Emotional Development:

Children are highly perceptive and often pick up on tension between parents, which can lead to feelings of anxiety or insecurity. A cohesive parenting strategy minimizes conflict and fosters a nurturing environment. When parents agree on how to handle emotional situations—like addressing bullying or academic pressures—children feel more supported. They learn to navigate their emotions, knowing they have a reliable support system.

 

  • Encouraging Consistency in Discipline:

Discipline is an essential aspect of parenting that requires consistency to be effective. When parents have a shared understanding of disciplinary methods, children are less likely to test boundaries. This uniformity helps children understand the consequences of their actions, encouraging responsible behavior

. Furthermore, consistent discipline reinforces the idea that actions have predictable outcomes, which is a crucial lesson in personal responsibility.

 

  • Fostering a Sense of Belonging:

Consensus among parents helps create a cohesive family identity. When both parents actively participate in decision-making, children feel valued and understood. This collaborative spirit nurtures a sense of belonging, which is vital for self-esteem and confidence. Whether through shared family traditions or collective problem-solving, children grow up knowing they are part of a supportive unit.

 

  • Encouraging Lifelong Learning:

Parenting is a journey filled with challenges and learning opportunities. When parents come together to share insights, experiences, and resources, they not only grow individually but also enrich their parenting approach. This commitment to lifelong learning sets an excellent example for children, teaching them the importance of adaptability and growth.

 

  • Conclusion

Achieving consensus among parents is not always easy, but its importance cannot be overstated. A unified approach enhances communication, emotional development, and discipline while modelling healthy relationships for children. As parents, investing time and effort into finding common ground creates a nurturing environment where children can flourish. By prioritizing consensus, we empower our children with the tools they need to navigate life’s challenges and emerge as confident, well-adjusted individuals.

In this ever-changing world, let’s strive to work together, fostering a loving and supportive atmosphere that echoes through generations.

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Dr. Susmita Kumari rout published in Articles, Blogs, Community, Inspiration, News,

The Art of Connection: Mastering the Six Principles of Appreciation in Parenting

In our busy lives, fostering a deep connection with our children can sometimes feel like an uphill battle. Yet, the foundation of a strong parent-child relationship lies in effective communication and genuine appreciation. By mastering the art of connection through the principles of appreciation, you can nurture your child’s self-esteem, resilience, and emotional intelligence. Here are six key principles to help you build this vital connection.

1. Be Specific When Praising

Vague compliments can feel hollow to children. Instead of a simple “Good job!” be specific about what you appreciate. This clarity helps children understand exactly what behavior to repeat. For example, say, “I love how you worked so hard on your art project; your attention to detail is impressive!” This not only boosts their confidence but also reinforces positive behaviors.

Why It Matters:
Specific praise helps children recognize their strengths and understand what they did well, encouraging them to continue those behaviors in the future.

2. Praise the Efforts and Progress, Not Just the Results

Children are often result-oriented, but it’s crucial to celebrate the journey. When you acknowledge their effort and progress—regardless of the outcome—you instill a growth mindset. For instance, if your child didn’t ace a test but studied hard, say, “I’m really proud of the effort you put into studying. That’s what matters!”

Why It Matters:
This principle helps children understand that learning and improvement are ongoing processes, reducing the fear of failure and promoting resilience.

3. Praise and Correction Should Be Separated

Timing is everything. When you need to correct a behavior, do it at a different time than when you give praise. For example, if your child misbehaves, address it calmly when emotions have settled. Praise can then be given at moments that showcase positive behavior. This separation helps children absorb both the praise and the correction without feeling overwhelmed.

Why It Matters:
This approach fosters a safe emotional space, allowing children to appreciate your praise without conflating it with criticism.

4. Praise Must Be Genuine and Sincere

Children are perceptive; they can tell when praise is insincere. Always be authentic in your compliments. If you’re struggling to find something positive to say, it’s okay to acknowledge that they tried their best, even if the outcome wasn’t ideal. For example, “I appreciate how you put in the effort to try something new, even if it was challenging.”

Why It Matters:
Genuine praise builds trust and strengthens your bond, showing your child that you truly see and value their efforts.

5. Praise in Public, Correct in Private

Public acknowledgment can boost a child’s confidence significantly. Whether at family gatherings, school events, or playdates, take moments to highlight their achievements. Conversely, when corrections are necessary, address them in private. This ensures your child feels supported rather than embarrassed, maintaining their dignity.

Why It Matters:
This balance not only nurtures their self-esteem but also fosters a sense of security, knowing that they have your unconditional support.

6. Accent the Positive

In every situation, try to highlight the positives. When faced with challenges, encourage your child to focus on what went well and what they learned, rather than dwelling on mistakes. For example, if they strike out in a game, remind them of their great teamwork or how they improved from last week.

Why It Matters:
Focusing on the positives encourages resilience, allowing children to navigate setbacks with a constructive attitude.

Conclusion

Mastering the art of connection through these six principles of appreciation can profoundly impact your relationship with your children. By being specific, celebrating effort, timing your praise and corrections wisely, being genuine, recognizing them publicly, and accentuating the positives, you cultivate an environment of love and understanding. Remember, the goal is to build a strong connection that nurtures your child’s growth and self-worth. Start practicing these principles today, and watch as your relationship flourishes, creating lasting bonds that will carry them through life.Continue reading

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KP - The Parenting Coach by Dr. Kapil Bhatia published in Articles, Blogs

Multiple Intelligence

The theory of multiple intelligences was developed in 1983 by Dr. Howard Gardner, professor of education at Harvard University. It suggests that the traditional notion of intelligence, based on I.Q. testing, is far too limited. Instead, Dr. Gardner proposes eight different intelligences to account for a broader range of human potential in children and adults. These intelligences are:

  • Linguistic intelligence (“word smart”)
  • Logical-mathematical intelligence (“number/reasoning smart”)
  • Spatial intelligence (“picture smart”)
  • Bodily-Kinesthetic intelligence (“body smart”)
  • Musical intelligence (“music smart”)
  • Interpersonal intelligence (“people smart”)
  • Intrapersonal intelligence (“self smart”)
  • Naturalist intelligence (“nature smart”)

Dr. Gardner says that our schools and culture focus most of their attention on linguistic and logical-mathematical intelligence. We esteem the highly articulate or logical people of our culture. However, Dr. Gardner says that we should also place equal attention on individuals who show gifts in the other intelligences: the artists, architects, musicians, naturalists, designers, dancers, therapists, entrepreneurs, and others who enrich the world in which we live.

Unfortunately, many children who have these gifts don’t receive much reinforcement for them in school. Many of these kids, in fact, end up being labeled “learning disabled,” “ADD (attention deficit disorder,” or simply underachievers, when their unique ways of thinking and learning aren’t addressed by a heavily linguistic or logical-mathematical classroom.

 

The theory of multiple intelligences proposes a major transformation in the way our schools are run. It suggests that teachers be trained to present their lessons in a wide variety of ways using music, cooperative learning, art activities, role play, multimedia, field trips, inner reflection, and much more. The good news is that the theory of multiple intelligences has grabbed the attention of many educators around the country, and hundreds of schools are currently using its philosophy to redesign the way it educates children. The bad news is that there are thousands of schools still out there that teach in the same old dull way, through dry lectures, and boring worksheets and textbooks. The challenge is to get this information out to many more teachers, school administrators, and others who work with child

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KP - The Parenting Coach by Dr. Kapil Bhatia published in Articles

Multiple Intelligence Theory

The theory of multiple intelligences was developed in 1983 by Dr. Howard Gardner, professor of education at Harvard University. It suggests that the traditional notion of intelligence, based on I.Q. testing, is far too limited. Instead, Dr. Gardner proposes eight different intelligences to account for a broader range of human potential in children and adults. These intelligences are:

  • Linguistic intelligence (“word smart”)
  • Logical-mathematical intelligence (“number/reasoning smart”)
  • Spatial intelligence (“picture smart”)
  • Bodily-Kinesthetic intelligence (“body smart”)
  • Musical intelligence (“music smart”)
  • Interpersonal intelligence (“people smart”)
  • Intrapersonal intelligence (“self smart”)
  • Naturalist intelligence (“nature smart”)

Dr. Gardner says that our schools and culture focus most of their attention on linguistic and logical-mathematical intelligence. We esteem the highly articulate or logical people of our culture. However, Dr. Gardner says that we should also place equal attention on individuals who show gifts in the other intelligences: the artists, architects, musicians, naturalists, designers, dancers, therapists, entrepreneurs, and others who enrich the world in which we live. Unfortunately, many children who have these gifts don’t receive much reinforcement for them in school. Many of these kids, in fact, end up being labeled “learning disabled,” “ADD (attention deficit disorder,” or simply underachievers, when their unique ways of thinking and learning aren’t addressed by a heavily linguistic or logical-mathematical classroom. The theory of multiple intelligences proposes a major transformation in the way our schools are run. It suggests that teachers be trained to present their lessons in a wide variety of ways using music, cooperative learning, art activities, role play, multimedia, field trips, inner reflection, and much more. The good news is that the theory of multiple intelligences has grabbed the attention of many educators around the country, and hundreds of schools are currently using its philosophy to redesign the way it educates children. The bad news is that there are thousands of schools still out there that teach in the same old dull way, through dry lectures, and boring worksheets and textbooks. The challenge is to get this information out to many more teachers, school administrators, and others who work with child.

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Nirmal Deepa published in Articles, Blogs, Inspiration

What is Reparenting and How to Begin

Our childhood is where the subconscious mind is formed.

It’s also where we learn how we process emotions, what relationships look like, how to hold boundaries, and countless other habits and behaviours.

Ideally, our parents are two different people brought up in different situations who allow their children to be seen and heard as the unique individual they are. The reality is that we live in a culture that does not teach conscious awareness, so most of us are born to unconscious parents.

Unconscious parents are repeating the same habits and patterns they’ve learned. They’re operating from a wounded space because of their own unprocessed emotions.

It’s important to understand that parents can only parent from their own level of awareness.

We can only give others what we have practiced giving ourselves.

Some of you reading this might be thinking “My childhood is over, there’s no reason to go back there.” Or “If my childhood is where I learned most of my coping mechanisms, I’m screwed.”

We tend to be protective and defensive around our childhood experience, but the truth is we have a unique opportunity to heal and consciously choose different behaviour as adults. Regardless of what we have experienced in our past.

This process is called reparenting.

Reparenting is the act of giving yourself what you didn’t receive as a child.

Now, it is time for us to do the best we could with our own evolved level of awareness.

Reparenting is our personal responsibility. Anyone can begin the process of reparenting themselves. It takes time, commitment, and patience. There is no quick fix. It will require you to show up every day. But it will allow you to heal and forgive.

The 4 Pillars of reparenting are:

Discipline, Joy, Emotional Regulation, and Self-care.

Depending on your unique childhood experience, some of these will be more difficult than others. Discipline was the most difficult part when there are unspoken and unresolved tantrums. For example, there was no part of you that wanted to wake up early, or really do anything “planned.” It was a process of grieving for past self as well as self-compassion to allow you to view discipline in another way.

Another major struggle for one would be finding joy. Joy is an emotional experience. It’s the product of spontaneity, play, creativity, and pure presence. Part of discovering joy is learning your own unique passions and interests. This is something I had to spend time connecting to. I had to relearn “me.”

Emotional regulation will take lots of effort when you do parent your kids along with reparenting yourselves. With days and months and years of effort you can achieve it and with consistency it can be carried forward in the life journey.

Self-care starts with loving and accepting ourselves in everything we do and whatever we do. When there is a feel of oneness within oneself this can be felt magical.

Reparenting will bring us so much more confidence, empathy, and creative energy.

Here are 5 Steps to Begin:

  1. Breathe consciously:

It’s easy to become overwhelmed. Reparenting is a process. It’s not something that happens overnight. It’s not something that happens over a couple of months. If you try to do too much of this work at once, you’ll become overwhelmed and fall back into old patterns. Follow the steps, do not try to do too much at once.

  1. Keep one small promise to your yourself every day:

This step should be so small that it’s seemingly insignificant. You need to choose something that sets you into a situation where you’ll succeed. Some good examples are: meditate for 2 minutes, go for a 5-minute walk around the block each morning, cook one meal at home every day, future self-journal each night before bed. Time is important here: do not choose any promise that takes more than 10 minutes in total.

  1. Tell someone you trust (other than your parents) that you’re beginning the process:

do not share that you’re doing this with your parents. It’s not necessary, and can be hurtful to them. Remember, they did the best they could with their level of awareness and will likely become defensive if you talk about this. Reparenting is for you. If you have a partner or a close friend, let them know you’re working on this. Support will be helpful.

  1. Use this Mantra:

“What can I give myself right now?” This is a mantra I use often. As children, we weren’t always given what we needed. As adults we have an opportunity to give what we need to ourselves. When you feel yourself having strong emotions, ask this question. Sometimes the answer for me is to disconnect with social media, or a need to get into the sun for 15 minutes. It’s ok if when you begin asking this question you feel confused or like there is no answer. Just continue asking. It’s a practice of connecting with intuition. If you stay committed, you’ll begin to get answers.

  1. Celebrate when you show up:

if we were not recognized, celebrated, and seen for the unique individual of who we are, we will quickly disregard the reality that we are showing up. Reparenting is difficult. Its soul work. Acknowledge the courage it takes. Own your progress. Celebrate the person you’re becoming.

In the journey of reparenting I am happy that I am becoming a different person and I am happy that I discovered it in the process of parenting. Thanks to my wonderful kid for giving me such a golden opportunity of being a parent.

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Meenakshi Agrawal published in Articles, Blogs

Help your child do better in studies.

Help your child do better in studies

Educationists always wonder about the percentage of the pupils who are not regular in their work and often miss homework. There is no magic wand that can be used by either the parents or the teachers. So what is it that creates such a huge gap between performers and non performers even though there is not much difference in the potential of both the categories?

The answer is motivation, discipline and punctuality. Helping your child to excel in studies doesn’t need complicated theories or deluxe teaching aids.  All it requires is a structure and conscious adherence to it on the part of both the parents and the children. 

  1. Be an involved parent and cultivate trust with your child-  When it comes to studies, teachers opine that the involved parents are like the backbone providing support to the children. When children understand that their parents’ value education, it conditions their mind to follow that path. 

          Children who trust their parents and enjoy good relationships with them have more confidence and are able to succeed.

  • Be a role model-  Children learn and imitate behaviors by observing and listening. They do what they ‘see’, not what they are ‘told’. If parents model good reading habits and culture at home, children are surely going to follow.
  • Help your children cultivate self-discipline- When children are exposed to following routines and instructions, they are more aware and open to cultivate self discipline.
  1. Create a schedule-  Creating a schedule is like providing a structure, setting the boundaries and expectations before the mind goes stray.  Whatever the age, a child should be involved in the making of the schedule and it should be realistic.
  2. Regular monitoring- Monitoring will keep the parent and child in loop  about the homework, revisions and new learnings.
  3.  Avoid absenteeism– A child is not burdened with pending assignments and submissions if  he/she is regular to school and punctual in homework. By following this they get ample rest and play time.
  4. Praise the effort- Celebrate all aspects of school achievements and efforts equally. When the parent is involved in studies, they understand the child’s effort in each step. Do not wait for the year end result. Award the efforts  which in turn motivates the child to continue the efforts and achieve desired success at the end of the year.
  5. Talk beyond the books– Study time need not be restricted to books and school work only. Engage your children in conversations pertaining to books, Movies, TV Programs, current affairs etc.  It broadens their outlook and elevates self confidence. Knowledge is power.
  6.  Attend parent teacher meetings- Make it a priority to attend all meetings and discuss your ward’s studies, activities and areas of improvement.
  7.  Spend time with your children- Consciously spend quality time with your children. 
  • Have meals with them.
  • Have one on one time with them, without any gadgets or other distraction.
  • Talk about and get involved in their interests and activities. 
  • Have positive talk about teachers and school authorities-  Express respect, confidence and trust in school teachers and the administration. Talk about them in a positive tone. Children look up to their teachers with respect and admiration which encourages them to perform well . If you have any concerns, use your wisdom whether to discuss it in front of the child or it can be avoided.
  • I hope this article helps in providing a structure and flow to both the parents as well as children and they achieve their full potential.                           ‘ Either you run the day, or the day runs you’ —– Jim Rohan

 

Author

Meenakshi Agrawal

Follow on Instagram @parentingwithmeenakshi

 

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SUMAM JOSEPH published in Articles, Blogs

Identifying and Fostering Linguistic Intelligence in Children

Identifying your Linguistic Intelligence

Identifying and Fostering Linguistic Intelligence in Children

Every child is a unique tapestry of intelligences, each thread representing a potential genius waiting to be uncovered. One of these threads is Linguistic Intelligence, a cornerstone of Howard Gardner’s theory of multiple intelligences. Linguistic Intelligence involves a deep affinity for words, language, and communication. As parents and caregivers, recognizing and fostering this intelligence can significantly impact a child’s development and lifelong success.

In fourth grade, our teacher assigned us a task to write five lines about a proverb. I lacked confidence in my writing and asked my friend to read my work aloud. Surprisingly, our teacher praised her and identified her as a natural writer.

That was the first time my linguistic skills were recognized. Although I won prizes for writing, I didn’t give much attention to my talent which would have led me to be a Genius in that with ease!

Guiding children to help them realize their linguistic potential can make them a perfect Genius in his zone.

Identifying Linguistic Intelligence

Verbal Prowess: Children with linguistic intelligence display a remarkable aptitude for language from a young age. They might have an extensive vocabulary, use complex sentence structures, and enjoy sharing stories or explaining concepts.

Love for Reading: A strong attraction to books and reading is a clear indicator. These children might spend hours engrossed in novels, magazines, or any written material.

Articulate Expression: Linguistically intelligent children are adept at articulating their thoughts and feelings. They might prefer verbal communication over other forms and use eloquent language to express themselves.

Storytelling Skills: If your child often narrates imaginative tales or creates intricate narratives, it’s a sign of their linguistic aptitude. They may enjoy weaving stories out of thin air or adapting real-life events into captivating narratives.

Word Play and Humor: A keen sense of wordplay, puns, and humor can be a strong indicator. These children might delight in making up clever rhymes, puns, or engaging in word-based jokes.

Listening Skills: Children with linguistic intelligence tend to be attentive listeners. They catch nuances in language, tone, and meaning, which contributes to their own effective communication.

 

Fostering Linguistic Intelligence

 

Encourage Reading: Provide access to a wide variety of reading materials – books, magazines, newspapers, and more. Engage in discussions about their reading experiences to enhance comprehension and critical thinking.

Storytelling Opportunities: Encourage your child to create stories, whether through writing or verbal expression. This nurtures their creative thinking and linguistic skills.

Word Games: Play word games like Scrabble, crossword puzzles, or language-based apps. These activities are not only enjoyable but also enhance vocabulary and language comprehension.

Journaling: Introduce the habit of journaling. This helps children articulate their thoughts, reflect on their experiences, and refine their writing skills.

Public Speaking and Debating: Enroll your child in activities that involve public speaking or debates. These experiences boost confidence, fluency, and effective communication.

Language Exposure: Introduce them to different languages and cultures. Exposure to diverse linguistic patterns enhances their sensitivity to language nuances.

Linguistic Intelligence is a window into a child’s exceptional linguistic potential. As parents and caregivers, recognizing and nurturing this intelligence opens doors to a world of communication, creativity, and intellectual growth. By doing this you make him a Genius in his zone of genius. Embrace the power of words and watch your child’s linguistic genius flourish, enriching their life in myriad ways.

Remember: “A child’s mind is not a container to be filled but rather a fire to be kindled.” – Dorothea Brande

 

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Faiza Parvez published in Articles, Blogs, Community

EFFECTIVE TIPS TO RAISE KIDS IN A JOINT FAMILY


EFFECTIVE TIPS TO RAISE KIDS IN A JOINT FAMILY

Raising kids in a joint family can be a great way to provide them with a strong support system and a sense of community. However, it can also be challenging, as there are often more people involved in decision-making and discipline. Here are some tips for raising kids in a joint family:

  • Communicate with your extended family. It’s important to communicate with your extended family about your parenting goals and expectations. This will help to ensure that everyone is on the same page and that your child is getting the consistent messages they need.
  • Set clear boundaries. It’s important to set clear boundaries with your extended family, especially when it comes to discipline. Let them know what you are comfortable with and what you are not.
  • Be respectful of your extended family’s opinions. Even if you don’t agree with everything they say, it’s important to be respectful of their opinions. This will help to create a more positive and harmonious environment for your child.
  • Be grateful for the support. Raising kids in a joint family can be a lot of work, but it’s also a lot of support. Be grateful for the help that your extended family provides and let them know how much you appreciate it.

Here are some additional tips:

  • Involve your extended family in your child’s life. This could include taking them on outings, spending time with them at home, or asking them to help with childcare.
  • Encourage your child to spend time with their grandparents and other extended family members. This will help them to build strong relationships with their elders and learn about their family history.
  • Talk to your child about the importance of respecting their elders. This will help them to understand the value of family and tradition.
  • Be patient and understanding. Raising kids in a joint family can be challenging, but it’s also a rewarding experience. Be patient with your child and your extended family, and remember that everyone is doing their best.

Here are some specific challenges that you may face when raising kids in a joint family:

  • Differing parenting styles. It’s common for extended family members to have different parenting styles than you do. This can be a challenge, as you may not agree with how they are raising your child. It’s important to communicate with your extended family about your parenting goals and expectations, and to set clear boundaries.
  • Lack of privacy. Living in a joint family can mean that you have less privacy than you would if you lived in a nuclear family. This can be a challenge, especially when it comes to raising teenagers. It’s important to find ways to give your child some privacy, even if it’s just a few minutes each day.
  • Feeling overwhelmed. Raising kids in a joint family can be a lot of work. It’s important to ask for help from your extended family when you need it. Don’t be afraid to say no if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
  • Despite the challenges, raising kids in a joint family can be a rewarding experience. By following these tips, you can create a positive and supportive environment for your child.

AUTHOR

     FAIZA PARVEZ

     Parenting coach 

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Sandhya Lal published in Articles, Blogs, Inspiration

How to get your Happiness Dose?

A question that is always asked to me “How can I be happy?” Happiness is an art which can be learnt. If you are a parent it is a boon in your life. Positive and Happy Parenting does take too much of your time and when practiced just like any other artform leads to a better state of mind and happier families. If you pay attention to what you do on the canvas it will be beautiful piece.  It is all about the choices you make in life. Just like an art piece we use colour, we have a medium, paints, and a canvas all come together to make a masterpiece. But if any one of the elements is not there you will not get the  outcome you want. So! For positive parenting you need to be happy first yourself. Today I am going to give you a a happy pill  “The Happiness DOSE for no added cost “. You heard me right it is free.

There are four hormones created in our body when we do certain activities. When you incorporate them in your life on a regular basis you are ensured true happiness.

THE DOSE IS

  1. D – DOPAMINE    – The reward Hormone
  2. O – OXYTOCINE   – The Love Hormone
  3. S  – SEROTONINE  – The Mood Stabilizer
  4. E  – ENDORPHINE – The Pain Killer

Let me explain these are not medicines you need from the store even though these may be prescribed as pills by docs in small doses. Why not get it by doing these activities?

1. D- Dopamine – The Reward Hormone

        This hormone is created in our body when you do something rewarding. Something we can do to increase DOPAMINE in our body is complete a pending task, trying to cook something new, taking up a hobby like singing, painting. When  you complete these tasks we feel happy. We also need  self-love like a grooming,  manicure, hair cut, trip to the saloon or buying something for yourself or your child. One must learn to celebrate the little things and small achievements in life. Try something new an activity that takes you out of your comfort zone and when you achieve success you will be rewarding your body with Dopamine. Do you know that even shopping for yourself helps release Dopamine. So! do groom and take care of yourself because self care is important too.

2. O- OXYTOCIN – The Love Hormone

The love hormone like the word suggests come when we do something that shows love. When we get a hug or hold hands, we are happy. A gentle touch a kiss on the cheek or forehead makes us happy. Playing with a baby or a pet will make us happy. Even receiving and giving a compliment, appreciation, and gratitude releases Oxytocin. As an adult even sex is important. So! Next time don’t be stingy in showering your loved one with hugs and kisses or a praise cause appreciation releases Oxytocin.

3. S- SEROTONIN – The Mood Stabilizer

What did you feel the last time you went for a holiday jumped in a swimming pool, walked in the nature or walked in nature , or took a trek ? Did you feel happy? Did you feel relaxed? When you attend a meditation session does your mind feel at peace? Well! The mood stabilizer SEROTONINE is at work during this time. You can do this even if you are not on a holiday. You may ask me how? Well! You can walk in the Garden next to your house early in the morning or take a run or jog on the road. Your body is

releasing this happy hormone. That’s why you see people who are into yoga, walking, running, cycling, and swimming are in a happy state when they are doing this activity. Doing this on a regular basis will make you a happier person. Your body releases Oxytocin.

4. E- ENDORPHINE – The Pain Killer

How do you feel when you ate dark-mint chocolate? How do feel when you enter a room that smelled beautiful and refreshing? When you exercise and sweat how does your body and mind feel? When you are not well i

n pain and friend comes along and makes you laugh. Do you feel the

 pain was less? If you have said yes! you feel happy, better, or less pain it is true because here 

at this time Endorphin is being pumped into your body in full swing. Too much chocolate will make you put on weight so then you need to work that extra calorie. When you enter a spa, and it smells good. What’s happening? Again, endorphins are released. These are all pain-relieving activities. So dark chocolate, essence and laughter is a natural pain killer. There is a saying “Laughter is the best medicine”. The next time you are low have a laugh.

You need to BOSS YOUR MIND and BODY to become happy and make sure you get your happiness dose everyday no matter what.

Now! That you know all the things you can do to stay in a happier state on mind you can apply this also with your children. Go down and play with them in the park, take a walk, play new games, laugh, dance exercise together.  Give a task to your child and reward them accordingly too.

Follow the HAPPINESS DOSE mantra to be a in a Happier state of mind. Remember theses activities are not just YOU BUT FOR YOUR FAMILY TOO

– Sandhya Lal

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REKHA SUBRAMANIAN published in Articles, Blogs

What is true? Finding yourself or Creating Yourself

According to me Life is a journey. In this journey, everything we go through is a process. Finding yourself and creating yourself is a process. Both are interlinked and connected.

Finding yourself means knowing about yourself or in other words self-discovery. Understand who you are. Because when you are in mother’s womb, you get the genes from your parents. You adapt some of their qualities, looks, nature, etc. That’s why you resemble your family members in looks and behaviour. So, it’s not completely in your control.

Finding yourself helps us to understand better about your nature and character, who you are. But when you look at yourselves, you always want to be someone else. We have been said that finding yourself is very important. When you think about your life, you understand what you want to be. In the process of doing so, you realise that it is actually not about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself.

Creating yourself means working on self to become the person whom you want to be. Finding yourself means you already exist. You are already someone and you just need to search. Once found the journey comes to end.

Creating yourself is not at all easy. It’s a continuous process. You need to come out of the comfort zone and push yourself hard. There is no end to this process. Even when you become the person you want to be, you still need to practice every day. Otherwise, you come back to your comfort zone and becomes difficult to come out of it.

It is not an easy task. There are lot of things involved. Like where do you start from and where you want to reach. In simple words, it needs a lot of planning, set our goals. For e.g. when we want to go on a vacation, first we decide our destination and then how to reach and when to reach. What mode of transport we need to take and even after so much of planning and preparation sometimes we face lot of challenges during the journey.

Creating yourself is exactly the same. You decide the destination what you want to become. Then you need to plan from where you want to start and how. Remember the journey might not be easy. There will be lot of challenges. Both external and internal. First, you need to set the mindset and you need to overcome all the hurdles on your mind. This will give you strength to overcome the external challenges too.

When we reach our destination, our whole life transforms. When I say transform means there is a shift from within. Just like when you sow a seed, the process starts from within. It doesn’t become a plant or a tree next day. It is a time taking process. You keep watering it every day.  It might not be visible outside. Does that mean that you stop watering it every day? No because you don’t know exactly how much time it will take. Suddenly one day you find small leaves comes out. And for a plant to become a tree, takes years and years of time.

 

 

Similarly, transformation is a process. It happens within yourself. And slowly the impact is reflected outside. It is an inch-by-inch process within. It might take time to reflect outside. This doesn’t mean that you stop working on yourself. You need to be continuously in this process of creating yourself. You need to be patient with yourself, give yourself enough time to grow within and become the person whom you always wanted to be. And once we become that person, journey never stops there. You need to keep on yourself working every day and every time. This is the most creative thing in your life – “Creating Yourself”.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Benard Shaw.

 

 

 

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Neetu J. Talwar published in Articles, Blogs

Help Yourself and Your Child Busting the Exam Stress !!!

Help Yourself and Your Child Busting the Exam Stress!!!

Parents easily get stressed when the exam time of the children draw closer. Exams can really be stressful for the entire family, but in reality, it needn’t be this way. It’s understandable that the child will experience stress and anxiety. If we as parents stress out, kids will stress out even more. Instead of putting additional pressure, there is a lot that parents can do motivate their kids for scoring well and prepare systematically for their exams.

Here are 10 practical and handy tips for the parents that will help them prepare their kids score well in the exams and reduce stress:-

  1. Know your child’s Exam time table – A very helpful way to help reducing yours and your child’s stress during their exams. Parents must know what exam the child has got next in order to help them prepare on time. It proves to be an extra element of support. You can simply add it to your calendar or pin a copy of the exam time table onto the notice board.
  2. Regular monitoring of their studies– Always take some time out to monitor your child’s progress. Sit with your child and design a schedule so that he or she has enough time for revision. Lending a helping hand in building a useful schedule for their days and weeks will help them efficiently utilizing their time. Don’t let them putting off all the preparation for the last days.
  3. Cut back on distractions– Any distractions, be it TV, gadgets, phones, gatherings, parties or even a disturbance from siblings must be avoided. It’s imperative to give your child the right atmosphere during exams to make him perform and score well. Try to allocate a comfortable room or a space in the home for your child to study in peace. 
  4. Do not compromise on child’s nutrition – Your Child health might get affected while dealing with exams pressure. An extra and special care is very much required keeping in mind the pressure child has on his mind. Adding fresh and seasonal fruits may do wonders for them. It helps them improving their concentration levels. 
  5. Enough sleep is fundamental – Be it school or exam, enough sleep is essential for a child to perform well. Teenagers have a habit of catching up on social media before bed which can cut the sleep time resulting in them being tired right before their exam. Prohibiting device in bedroom especially during exams or cutting off the internet is highly recommended. Installing parental control is also advisable during exam time.
  6. Help them to be active – Encourage them to take breaks between studies. As studying continuously will tire out the brain and affect the ability to retain knowledge. A power nap, stretching exercises, listening to music OR dancing can refresh and re-energize them.  Processed food, high caffeine or sugar intake can make kids anxious during exam days. Teenagers are recommended not to exceed 100 ml of caffeine a day.  Encourage them to take plenty of water.
  7. Never compare your child – Comparing your child with other kids, using negative words to demean them, or questioning their caliber on the basis of scores will just hurt the sentiments of the child. His true potential shouldn’t be measured with scores in the exams. Parents must remember that  exams are just one of the many challenges your child will face and it’s not the end of life. So, take it easy!
  8. Reward your child efforts- Rewarding your child is important to motivate them to put their best foot forward. Don’t bribe them with expensive gifts. A simple family outing or catching up with friends or cousins after the exam can help the child to take his pressure off.
  9. Identifying warning signs, if any – Its imperative to ensure your child’s mental well-being too. It’s natural to feel anxious during exams. But if there are signs of extreme anxiety, loss of appetite, anger issues or irritated mood, these could indicate that the child is not keeping well. Always keep a check, intervene and talk to them at the right time.
  10. Stay calm – Don’t build too much pressure on them. Stand in support of your child, believe in his abilities, help them preparing for the exams without overburdening them with your expectations.

 

So, stay calm! And if you can’t, fake it till you make it. Try to hold your stress inside and not to discuss with your child.

Hope these tips will help you and your child staying stress free in the days of examinations. These tips will not only help them coping with stress but will also form the right outlook for exams.

Author

Neetu J. Talwar

ESL Trainer and Parenting Coach from Deep

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COACH MOHNISH GAHNOLIA published in Articles, Blogs

“Children are just result of your actions”

“Children are just result of your actions”

Parents expect their child to be faithful, disciplined (getup early),be polite, helpful, not to greed, exercise daily, sleep early, not to use cell phones, not to eat chocolates and ice creams, get 100% grades, study all the time. Likewise there are thousands of expectations that a child expects from their parents. Aren’t we as a parent over burdening our kids with our never ending expectations?

My question is for each and every parent, are we doing the same things which we expect from our kids to do?

I don’t think so, instead of guiding our kids, we as a parent need to be trained at first, so that we can guide our kids in very healthy and progressive manner. Many of you will contradict with my viewpoint.

Let us understand with one example of our childhood, have you ever came across with the situation at home, when your father were actually present at home and someone from our relative call on landline or came to our door step, and then we were asked to say NO to them, that no one is at home or father is not at home. Don’t we think we ourselves are guiding and teaching our children to speak lies, then how do we expect our kids to speak truth always?

Let’s understand with a story,

In 1930’s there was a lady whose son was eating Jaggery a lot, but her mother wanted his child to stop this habit, so that lady decided to go to his idol Mahatma Gandhi, and she walked many km to reach Mr. Gandhi in very hot summer and finally reached his Ashram, then she requested Mr. Gandhi to help her out so that her child stop eating Jaggery. After listening patiently Mr. Gandhi asked that lady to come back after 2 weeks, and after two weeks that lady came once again and then Mr. Gandhi asked that boy, you should stop eating Jaggery it is not good for health, boy nodded and promised that he will not be eating Jaggery anymore, Mother was so curious why Mr. Gandhi took 2 weeks to say just one line,

Mr. Gandhi smiled and said 2 week before I was also obsessed with eating Jaggery, in 2 weeks I have quit eating Jaggery, so I needed time to do this.

So from this story we all parents should learn whatever we are guiding to our kids, Are we doing the same thing, if no then try to follow yourself first. It seems very typical to do it initially, but it will definitely give you best results in longer period for sure. Children are just result of our action, whatever we are doing, If we will exercise there is more chance that our child will exercise, if getup early our child will get up early, if we speak truth our child will speak truth, if we are polite, our child will be polite, if we share things and daily experiences with our kids then our child will also do the same with us. These small changes can persuade our kids to do what we expect from them.

 “So our children are just result of our actions, so check your actions first, change your habits, change your daily routine, it will persuade your child to follow it, because your child will not do whatever you ask them to do, they will do whatever they see”.

 

Mohnish Gahnolia

Parenting Coach

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