Middle school is a time of exciting growth, change and new experiences. However, it also presents its own unique set of struggles. One such hurdle that our kids have to face during these years is peer pressure. Yes, we all know about peer pressure, but as parents, it can be really tough to figure out how to help our kids handle it on their own.
Now, you might be wondering, do we have any tools or strategies to help our kids navigate this challenge at school more easily? The answer is yes, we do. We all know these tools, even if we might not be fully aware of them. As parents, we can give our kids the support they need to handle these situations with confidence and independence.
Before we dive into the topic, let’s first define ‘Peer Pressure’.
Peer pressure is when our peers or those around us try to persuade us into doing something that goes against our beliefs, morals, and values. While it can be a great motivator for kids to engage in new activities, academic studies, or even pick up a few success skills or habits along the way, more often than not, competition among children is fairly unhealthy.
But then why does it seem so much worse in Middle School? Now, you might be thinking, I’m talking about middle school, but we know that peer pressure can happen in high school, among friends in the community, and beyond.
Middle schoolers are typically between the ages of 11 and 14, covering grades 6 through 8. They are at an age where they are developing their sense of self, making them particularly vulnerable to peer influence. The desire to conform and be accepted often clouds their judgment.
Now that we understand what peer pressure is and why middle schoolers are especially vulnerable, let’s explore a few ways we, as parents, can empower our children to face this challenge head-on.
- Communication is the key: This is the most vital point in whatever challenges we face as parents on our parenting journey. Little do we realize that this powerful tool is the first solution to many parenting problems. Now, let’s face it, we just don’t know how to communicate with our children the right way. We think we do, but in reality, most of us fail here. We often fail to create a safe space for a conversation to take place. So, first of all, we need to create that space for our children to talk about their day, friends, and any pressures they feel This doesn’t mean we should bombard them with questions. Instead, gauge their mood and temperament, and approach them gently, not like an interviewer. Most importantly, we need to listen to them without immediate judgment or solutions. They need to know that they can approach us with any problem. Once this realization sets in, half the problem is resolved. If you haven’t tried it yet, go ahead and give it a shot.
- Teach them the ability to make decisions: Next, we need to help our children understand the importance of making their own decisions. This not only helps them feel more confident but also encourages independence. Trust me, I’ve tried it with my son, and it truly makes a difference. Here’s what we can do: engage them in discussions about various real-life scenarios they may encounter, and then role-play responses to peer pressure.
- Encourage them to think critically: First, let’s understand what critical thinking is about. The ability to analyse, evaluate, and interpret information effectively is critical thinking. Now, you might be wondering, do middle schoolers possess the ability to think critically? Certainly, middle schoolers can indeed develop critical thinking abilities. However, the degree to which they showcase this skill may differ based on their unique levels of maturity and experiences. As parents, we need to encourage our children to think about the consequences of their actions. You can ask questions like, “What do you think will happen if you do that? Or What would you do in this situation?” This will help them to reflect and respond. Most of the time, they come up with great responses.
- Build their self-esteem: Now how do we do this? Isn’t it an inborn trait? Well, you see, we can always nurture confidence in our children. We need to support their interests and strengths. When we do that, it automatically builds their self-esteem. Remember, a confident child is more resilient against negative peer pressure.
- Lay down your expectations clearly: Often, we don’t set our expectations clearly with our children. This often leads to confusion and frustration, not just for them but also for us. Setting the right expectations always helps. When we establish and communicate our family’s values and expectations to our children, they are clear and understand what is expected of them. There is no room for confusion there. When they know our stance on certain behaviours, it helps them make better choices.
- Do what you want them to do: How can we expect our children to behave and act in a certain way when most of the time we fail to show them as parents? Children learn a great deal by observing their parents. Therefore, it’s important for us to model how to handle peer pressure in our own lives. Let’s refrain from discussing situations where others have something we don’t and how we desire it. Instead, let’s exhibit resilience and contentment in front of our children.
- Teach them the importance of choosing the right company: “A man is known by the company he keeps”. Let’s teach our children to build friendships with peers who share similar values and interests. Positive peer groups can provide support and reduce the impact of negative pressure.
- Teach them the art of saying “No”: This is extremely important. Let’s equip our children with simple, assertive ways to say no. Phrases like, “No, thanks, I’m not into that,” or “I’d rather not,” can be very effective.
As parents, it’s important that we empower our children to manage peer pressure. Our goal isn’t to shield them from it, but to arm them with confidence so that they can face it head-on. By implementing these simple strategies, like open communication, encouraging independence, and modelling positive behaviour, we can guide our children through these critical years with success.
