Parental Guilt

Parental Guilt

You feel guilty that you should be doing more.

You feel guilty when you’ve spent too much money on them.
You feel guilty when you’re not paying enough attention to your kids.
You feel guilty when your work and do-do list occupy your head when you should be present with them.
You feel guilty about that argument you’ve had with your spouse in front of them.
And you feel really, really guilty when you’ve blown your top and yelled at them.
Such and many more parenting emotions nobody ever warned Us about.

Those moments of frustration and anger building to the boiling point and before you know it, you’ve said something you wished you could take back.

Pause, Take A Deep Breath
Mostly every parent, have lost it cool someday or situation.
Many of Us, you’ll hear confessions followed by self-beating.
Maybe, after the 7th time telling your mid- schooler to shut down the video game and get to his math homework, you stunned yourself by that loud scream.
Maybe you had enough of your kids’ fighting over a particular toy so you thrashed it away in bin to end the chaos.
Whatever happened, you felt like an out-of-control.
How are your kids supposed to respect you? How are YOU supposed to respect you?
You know one thing for sure: you really don’t like yourself in these moments. Its Pretty natural to feel that way as kids are developing at pretty fast pace than your actions.

Few tips to stay out of this feeling and overcome them, which we do practice in my courses are

Stop comparing
Just as you shouldn’t compare Yourself to other parents and also comparing your child with others can fuel guilty feelings.
All that really matter in the end is that you are doing best to your knowledge, Lovingly and unconditionally.
These thoughts will slowly vanish when you align your thoughts and take necessary actions with love, instead of focusing on getting it perfect.

Be kind on yourself
Once you identify that you are empty of self love its may be challenging to showcase and flow that out. Hence its necessary to refill before giving that out.
We need to reframe self-love with self-care and not over indulgence in certain activity. i.e., shopping, etc.
Plan a break to caress yourself, sleep, read, spend time with nature and do what you love & recharge so that you bounce back happily.

Find people whom you can talk to and one who guides you
Though opening up on personal feeling and thoughts is never an easy task specially when it comes with fear of being judged.
The key is to vent out and allow the feeling come out of it freely. Only then will you have the freedom of that guilt.

Live in present
By becoming more present in each moment so that you can see and feel your reactions as they unfold.
Responsiveness comes from engaging your conscious mind instead of allowing the subconscious to rule the show.
That means that the key to more effective and fulfilling parenting is to become more conscious, so you can respond INSTEAD OF react.

‘GET THE FREEDOM BY GETTING BETTER AND BETTER EVERYDAY.’

Jagruti Gouda

DEEP Parenting Coach