To learn any skill we have training, courses, degrees available but parenting is that skill for which we don’t have any training or courses available. Every parent raises their children according to their own childhood experience. Parents want to raise their child in the best possible way. Parents try to give their children all those possible things or facilities for which they were deprived of when they were a child. They tried to avoid those behaviours which they did not like when they were young. Every parent does their best for their children.
But an ignorant or unknowing parent makes some blunders in their parenting journey about which parents themselves don’t know, what would be the impact of that particular behaviour on their child’s mental health or their personality. The parent was never trained about how to behave with the child or how to handle the child in all the stages of the life during his parenting journey so that they can raise an independent child with an all rounder personality and who is happy, content and physically and mentally healthy.
The parent is implementing all their insecurities, their mental health impact of their own childhood trauma or experience on their own child. They don’t have the proper approach or tools or techniques so that they can handle the childâs issues in a positive way because they were never told or educated on how to raise the child in a proper way. For example if any parent had a very strict upbringing he will also try to give a strict parenting to his child and the child might grow into a young adult who is low in self esteem, self worth, has difficulty in making decisions, becomes introvert and is low in confidence.
 Or on the other hand parents may give too much of the liberty to the child and that too without limits and as a result the child can put his life at risk, may develop any bad habit, disrespecting others or grows into that kind of young adult who is overconfident, careless, irresponsible or with unhealthy physical and mental health.
Sometimes parents speak very negative or demotivating words to their children unwillingly. When the children are very young say at the age of 4 to 9 years their subconscious mind is always open to receive. The children at this age are highly receptive so whatever parents say to their child good or bad it becomes their belief system and the words which they speak to their child becomes their Anchors. If the parents say any negative sentence like ââyou are dufferâ, âyou are good for nothingâ, â you are not good enoughâ,â you cannot do anything in lifeâ, these words become mantras in child’s mind and starts popping up again and again and the child starts believing in this. And when he grows up these words will always hold him back. He will not be able to make any decisions, he will have self doubt, over thinking and he will be seeking validation from others. The parents did not do this behaviour intentionally, in fact parents love their child a lot, they care for the child and due to their insecurity and fear of failure of their child they use these words so that the child will start doing well academically and get good scores in exams and become successful in his life. Parents were not aware of the impact of this behaviour or action. In this case parents are not at fault. Parents were never trained on Parenting. Parents were never taught how to parent their child.
 In our schools also the child who is scoring good grades in Maths and Science and whose linguistic and logical intelligence is high is supposed to be an intelligent child. Parents too believe in that fact. But apart from it there are other multiple intelligences also. According to professor Harvard Gardner any ability which can bring you name, fame, money and success is also termed as intelligence. There are 8 types of Intelligence: 1. Linguistic 2. Logical 3. Visual 4. Physical 5. Musical 6. Interpersonal 7. Intrapersonal 8.Naturalist. If the child is having any one intelligence from the above list he will be termed as intelligent.
From the ancient days the approach we used to raise the children was carrot and stick. But now in today’s scenario this approach is not effective on our delicate and sensitive children. Now the new approach invented by child psychology is to âAward and Ignore”.The good behaviour of the child should be rewarded and ignore the bad one.
We must have courage to encourage the positive behavior of our Child. We should catch the child doing good things or behaviour and encourage and appreciate it. It will give a positive reinforcement to the children. That is why parenting coaching is the need of the hour. Every parent should be trained to parent mindfully and recognise their responsibility. So that their children can reach their true potential and this cycle of generational trauma is broken, so that their children will become highly responsible citizens of India with an all rounder personality. And India will become a nation of healthy minds, strong bodies and happy souls. Let us learn parenting better!
Your Parenting Coach
 Pushpa Vashist
(9034912593)
