Tag: Parenting

Neetu J. Talwar published in Articles, Blogs

Help Yourself and Your Child Busting the Exam Stress!!!

Help Yourself and Your Child Busting the Exam Stress!!!

Parents easily get stressed when the exam time of the children draw closer. Exams can really be stressful for the entire family, but in reality, it needn’t be this way. It’s understandable that the child will experience stress and anxiety. If we as parents stress out, kids will stress out even more. Instead of putting additional pressure, there is a lot that parents can do motivate their kids for scoring well and prepare systematically for their exams.

Here are 10 practical and handy tips for the parents that will help them prepare their kids score well in the exams and reduce stress:-

  1. Know your child’s Exam time table – A very helpful way to help reducing yours and your child’s stress during their exams. Parents must know what exam the child has got next in order to help them prepare on time. It proves to be an extra element of support. You can simply add it to your calendar or pin a copy of the exam time table onto the notice board.
  2. Regular monitoring of their studies– Always take some time out to monitor your child’s progress. Sit with your child and design a schedule so that he or she has enough time for revision. Lending a helping hand in building a useful schedule for their days and weeks will help them efficiently utilizing their time. Don’t let them putting off all the preparation for the last days.
  3. Cut back on distractions– Any distractions, be it TV, gadgets, phones, gatherings, parties or even a disturbance from siblings must be avoided. It’s imperative to give your child the right atmosphere during exams to make him perform and score well. Try to allocate a comfortable room or a space in the home for your child to study in peace. 
  4. Do not compromise on child’s nutrition – Your Child health might get affected while dealing with exams pressure. An extra and special care is very much required keeping in mind the pressure child has on his mind. Adding fresh and seasonal fruits may do wonders for them. It helps them improving their concentration levels. 
  5. Enough sleep is fundamental – Be it school or exam, enough sleep is essential for a child to perform well. Teenagers have a habit of catching up on social media before bed which can cut the sleep time resulting in them being tired right before their exam. Prohibiting device in bedroom especially during exams or cutting off the internet is highly recommended. Installing parental control is also advisable during exam time.
  6. Help them to be active – Encourage them to take breaks between studies. As studying continuously will tire out the brain and affect the ability to retain knowledge. A power nap, stretching exercises, listening to music OR dancing can refresh and re-energize them.  Processed food, high caffeine or sugar intake can make kids anxious during exam days. Teenagers are recommended not to exceed 100 ml of caffeine a day.  Encourage them to take plenty of water.
  7. Never compare your child – Comparing your child with other kids, using negative words to demean them, or questioning their caliber on the basis of scores will just hurt the sentiments of the child. His true potential shouldn’t be measured with scores in the exams. Parents must remember that  exams are just one of the many challenges your child will face and it’s not the end of life. So, take it easy!
  8. Reward your child efforts- Rewarding your child is important to motivate them to put their best foot forward. Don’t bribe them with expensive gifts. A simple family outing or catching up with friends or cousins after the exam can help the child to take his pressure off.
  9. Identifying warning signs, if any – Its imperative to ensure your child’s mental well-being too. It’s natural to feel anxious during exams. But if there are signs of extreme anxiety, loss of appetite, anger issues or irritated mood, these could indicate that the child is not keeping well. Always keep a check, intervene and talk to them at the right time.
  10. Stay calm – Don’t build too much pressure on them. Stand in support of your child, believe in his abilities, help them preparing for the exams without overburdening them with your expectations.

So, stay calm! And if you can’t, fake it till you make it. Try to hold your stress inside and not to discuss with your child.

Hope these tips will help you and your child staying stress free in the days of examinations. These tips will not only help them coping with stress but will also form the right outlook for exams.

 

Author

Neetu J. Talwar

ESL Trainer and Parenting Coach from Deep

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Girish Panicker published in Blogs

Parenting Lessons from the Vienna General Hospital

Parenting Lessons from the Vienna General Hospital

 

The Vienna general hospital had two maternity wards, one handled by doctors and the other by midwives. In the mid-1800s, Dr. Ignaz Semmelweiz was heading the ward that was being handled by doctors. The surprising fact was that the mortality rate of mothers who were looked after by the doctors was 1 in 10 and the mortality rate of mothers looked after by midwives was 1 in 50. This was quite embarrassing for the doctors. They tried changing the bedsheets, cleaning the floors window curtains, but the mortality rate remained the same. They even laid down SOPs for both the wards so that there was uniformity in all respects. Even after all these measures, there was no change in the mortality rates.

The situation was so alarming that many women preferred to deliver on the streets than go to the ward looked after by the doctors for the fear of dying. Dr. Ignaz happened to visit another hospital and was away from Vienna general Hospital for few months and in these few months, the mortality rates of the women at the ward looked after by doctors also reduced to 1 in 50.

Dr. Ignaz after returning from his visit began to examine the reason for this and he found out that, since they were in a  research institute most of the doctors split their time between research on cadavers and treatment of live patients. After doing research, dissecting a cadaver they went on to treat live patients. The very doctors who were supposed to treat the patients were unknowingly carrying the germs that caused the patients to die. They had no idea of germs at that time. Dr. Ignaz found out that he spent far more time on research on cadavers and then directly attended to the pregnancies.

It was Dr. Ignaz after his discovery that he formulated the germ theory. It was after this discovery that all doctors were advised to wash their hands with chlorine and lime. It was a simple solution, but it solved a grave problem. The mortality of women treated by doctors dropped drastically to 1 in 100 after they started washing their hands with chlorine and lime.

 

What can we learn from this incident?

Just like the doctors were unknowingly responsible for the deaths of their patients, many times parents are unknowingly responsible for crushing the child’s dreams and making him/her follow dictates that they feel is right

It needs unconditional love to view children as completely different human beings with curiosity to experiment and discover life on their own.

Parents need to master active listening to understand the unsaid words, the unspoken language and not force a child to just listen to what they say and expect the child to follow without complaining.

It is understandable that all parents do what they do with the intention of giving the best to their children. However, just like the doctors of the Vienna general hospital, they unknowingly do more harm than good.

The focus needs to move from the external world to the inner world, then the entire approach will undergo a dramatic change. The solution may be very simple like washing the hands of the doctors, but the impact can be profound.

Parents need to step back just like Dr. Ignaz who went on a visit to another hospital, which prompted him to search for significant differences in approaches in the doctor’s ward and the midwife’s ward.

The changes could be as simple as choosing a different set of words that we use or just listening to the child without judgement or maybe expressing how you feel or just allowing him/her to take responsibility.

 

Yes! Everything starts with awareness of the situation and taking the appropriate action.

Girish Paniker

Parent Alchemist

 

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Dr. Shraddha Tendulkar published in Articles

BRACHIATION – A SIMPLE PLAY WITH MULTIPLE BENEFITS  

BRACHIATION – A SIMPLE PLAY WITH MULTIPLE BENEFITS

Do you remember when did you last brachiate or have motivated your child to do so? Well now what is this new term Brachiation, it is nothing but simply hanging and monkeying around on trees or on the metal ladders which we have in our park’s or playgrounds.

We hardly pay heed to such simple and interesting activities nor do we dig deep to know the science hidden behind it, have we ever given a piece of mind onto why such ladders were there on playground? And usual answer we get is to increase your height.

There are many benefits of brachiation apart from increasing the height. Brachiation is the ability to swing from rung to rung on an overhead ladder. It is considered one of the milestone like crawling, scooting, walking.

This activity is extremely easy for a very young child and extremely difficult for an adult.

10 most important benefits of the brachiation ladders:

  • Improvement of intelligence.
  • Extension of the rib cage. Greater thoracic extension means more oxygen for the brain.
  • Improvement of breathing
  • Increase in the strength of the hands and arms.
  • Help in the proper development of the back.
  • Decrease in respiratory diseases.
  • Better definition of the laterality of the brain.
  • Better development of manual skill.
  • Greater ease and dexterity when writing.
  • Improvement of visual convergence.
  • Optimal development of eye-hand coordination.

From the sensorial point of view, the brachiation ladder must be made of wood and never of iron, aluminum or plastic. Also with the wood, the hands do not slip.

Try to have one brachiation ladder at home instead of expensive mindless toys. Children will have an activity which could be one substitute to reduce screen time as well.

Happy Parenting and Happy Brachiating

Article by Dr Shraddha Tendulkar

Source of information and Courtesy: Glenn Doman’s book

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Swati Mahajan published in Blogs

15 Affirmations for Moms to Help Reduce Anxiety and Increase Positivity

15 Affirmations for Moms to Help Reduce Anxiety and Increase Positivity

 

It’s often been said that motherhood is the most difficult job in the world. Indeed, there is no task more challenging than caring for the emotional, physical, and mental health of another human being. As a mom it is so easy to feel overwhelmed, overworked and stressed.

 

If you tell yourself negative things daily – guess what, you are setting yourself up for failure or repeat patterns of life. I believe in the power of affirmations so much because What we believe about ourselves at a subconscious level has a significant impact on the outcome of events. This is because the mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real or fantasy. Amazing right?

 

Pick any two of these affirmations daily and use them for at least 21 days!. Save them, say them whenever you can, or write them down every morning. Post them where you will see them. Come back here and comment below to let me know what miracles you see changing

 

  1.  I respect my children; I respect myself.
  2.  I am a blessing to my children. I am a powerhouse
  3.  I am doing an amazing job. I wake up today with strength in my heart and clarity in my mind.
  4.  I am my child’s lifelong teacher.
  5.  I can trust my maternal intuition.
  6.  I am learning to be a better mother with each new day.
  7.  I will take care of myself in order to be a good mother.
  8.  I am doing the best that I can for my children and it is enough.
  9.  I am becoming a more confident mother with each new day. I am at peace with all that has happened, is happening, and will happen.
  10.  My marriage is becoming stronger, deeper, and more stable each day
  11.  I am creating positive, lifelong memories with my children.
  12.  I know better than anyone else what my children need.
  13.  I am allowed to ask for help as a mother. I deserve time to relax.
  14.  Today I will see the best in my child and the best in myself.
  15.  The decisions made by other moms do not need to dictate mine.

 

Which of these mama-mantras stands out to you today?

 

 

Regards

Swati Mahajan

Parenting Coach

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Manish Sharma published in Articles, Blogs

TEENS – Drug Abuse & Addiction

World Health Organization defines drug addiction as follows:

“Drug addiction is the state of periodic or chronic intoxication detrimental to the individual and to society, produced by the repeated consumption of a drug (natural or synthetic). Its characteristics include (1) an overpowering desire or need (compulsion) to continue taking the drug and to obtain it by any means (2) a tendency to increase the dosage, and (3) a psychic (psychological) and sometimes physical dependence on the effects of the drug.”

This is emerging as a challenge that requires immediate attention and policy intervention from Indian government.  Young generation is the premise to build future of the nation and if current generation is deeply immersed with such addiction, nation will be deprived of productive human resources in the future.

Teens who abuse drugs may have a greater risk of developing an addiction when they grow adults. Drugs have a more drastic effect on children and teens than on adults because the brain continues to develop until about age 20. In young age alcohol and other drugs disrupt brain development. They negatively affect a person’s memory and ability to respond to stimuli and to respond to stressful situations.

Anyone who tries a drug initially never plans to become addicted. Just because a teen has tried drugs or alcohol doesn’t mean he/she will become an addict. There is difference between drug abuse and addiction. Addiction occurs when frequent usage of drugs effects brain functions over time. The transition from voluntary to compulsive drug use reflects changes in the brain’s natural inhibition and reward centers that keep a person from exerting control over the impulse to use drugs. Developing brains are also more prone to addiction. Teenager’s brain adapt more quickly to repeated drug use, leading to cravings and dependence.

There is no single reason why teenagers use drugs or alcohol. But here are some of the core issues and influences behind the behaviour of teenage drug and alcohol use.

Curiosity: Many teens begin experimenting with drugs and alcohol simply because they are curious and want to know what it feels like. Even if they know that drugs are bad, they don’t believe that anything bad can actually happen to them.

Peer Pressure: Peers are most influential at this stage of life. Many teens use drugs “because others are doing it”—or they think others are doing it—and they fear not being accepted in a social circle that includes drug-using peers.

Having Fun :  Past studies used to point to “having fun” as the number-one reason teens using drugs. It’s fun getting drunk or high with friends, sharing an intensely pleasurable drug-induced euphoria. Teens don’t get addicted to substance but they get addicted to the mood that the substance brings. Abused drugs interact with the neurochemistry of the brain to produce feelings of pleasure. The intensity of this euphoria differs by the type of drug and how it is used.

Lack of Confidence/ Low Self-Esteem:  A study reported that most of the teens say that they use drugs to “feel cool.” Teens’ self-worth depends on the approval of others, and their desire for social acceptance can drive them to engage in destructive behaviors, even if they know it could harm them. Teens who have low self-esteem are more likely to seek acceptance from the wrong crowd by using drugs.

Stress: Some teens turn to drugs and alcohol as a form of escapism. Many teenagers are overly stressed with a packed schedule of advanced classes and extracurricular activities. A lack of coping skills can lead them to seek an artificial method of coping with stress.  When they feel stressed or pressurized they see these substances as a way to forget existing problems and feel happier.

Misinformation: Studies show that teens are widely misinformed about the risk/dangers attached to drugs abuse. Teens who perceive little risk in using drugs are more likely to use drugs. Teens need to be educated by parents and teachers about the specific risks of drugs.

If you are concerned that your teen might be using drugs, here are some common warning signs to watch for.

Behavioural Changes:

  • Decreased interest in activities and hobbies.
  • Isolating themselves from friends or family.
  • Acting secretive.
  • Avoiding eye contact.
  • Changing friends or social circles.
  • Extreme highs and lows
  • Slurred or rapid-fire speech.
  • Unusual tiredness 

    Physical Changes:

  • Bloodshot Eyes.
  • Poor hygiene
  • Smell of smoke on breath or clothes
  • Excessive thirst or hunger
  • Sudden weight loss or gain
  • Coordination problems
  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Shakes or tremors
  • Pinpoint pupils

The most common drugs abused by teens aren’t much different from those of adults. But the reasons for abuse may be different as teens often abuse a substance based on its accessibility. Teens are also more likely to take excessive amounts of drugs and alcohol because of how they perceive the risks and dangers.

Alcohal: Intake in liquid state e.g  Beer, Whisky, Rum, Vodka

Marijuana: Also called weed, pot, grass, ganja and many more other slang names. It’s get consumed by smoking and vaporizing

Prescriptions and Over-the-counter Medications: Pills, Capsules, Injections, Syrups

Smack (Heroine): is a white or brown. It can be mixed with water and injected with a needle. Heroin can also be smoked or snorted up the nose. Also called Snow, White lady, Horse, H, Eagle, Chitta, Brown Sugar, Mud

Recognition and prevention of drug use can end an emerging problem before it starts. Parents can play an important role in keeping their kids away from this curse.

Strong Bond: Have a strong bond with your child. Teens who have healthy relationships with their parents may be more likely to discuss their encounters with drugs.

  • Having at least one meal a day with the entire family present
  • Making time to talk with teenagers regularly to check in with their feelings, activities and behaviours
  • Getting to know a teenager’s friends and their parents
  • Communicating with teachers and school counselors on an ongoing basis
  • Participating in community activities that keep schools and neighborhoods safe for teenagers
  • Attending your teen’s school activities and showing support for her interests
  • Letting your teenager know every day that you love him and care about his future

Teach Your Teen How to Say No to Friends: Friends are important. Teens trust their friends, and they seek their approval. However, children need to know how to resist peer pressure and make their own decisions. If a friend offers alcohol or drugs, your child must understand the power of saying no. When surrounded by friends who avoid drugs and alcohol, saying no becomes easier. Encourage your teen to hang out with friends who choose not to use alcohol and other drugs.

Discuss Risk involved in Substance abuse: Being involved in your teen’s life is one of the best ways to prevent substance abuse. Having open and honest discussions about the dangers of drinking, drug use and peer pressure can make a huge difference. Parents who do not want their kids getting drunk and using drugs should begin by sending a strong message to their children about the importance of avoiding drugs and alcohol.

Be a Role Model: One of the most important ways parents influence their children is by being positive role models. Teens mimic what they see. That means parents should keep alcohol and other drugs away from the home. If you drink in front of your children, do so in moderation and explain why it’s important for kids to abstain from alcohol until their brains are fully developed.

Engage them in Physical & other recreational activities: Keep them busy in sports, art, music, dance or any other activity they want to pursue in life. People those who pursue their hobbies have lesser chance to get addicted.

Key Points:

  • Many teens experiment with drugs, but aren’t addicted.
  • No one who tries a drug; plan to become addicted.
  • Some people can have one drink or one hit and stop. It’s not as easy for others — especially those who have a family history of addiction.
  • Teens don’t get addicted to substance they get addicted to the mood that the substance brings.
  • Teens who perceive little risk in using drugs are more likely to use drugs.
  • Many shy teenagers who lack confidence report that they’ll do things under the influence of alcohol or drugs that they might not otherwise.
  • Recognition and prevention of drug use can end an emerging problem before it starts.
  • The most common drugs abused by teens aren’t much different from those of adults. But the reasons for abuse may be different as teens often abuse a substance based on its accessibility

“Let’s raise children who don’t have to recover from mistakes of childhood in their youth”

Manish Sharma

Parenting Coach

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Manish Sharma published in Blogs

Tech ‘N’ Toddlers

Too much of anything is not good and this also stands true about exposure of Media available today to kids. I have been receiving numerous queries from parents in this regard:

  • What shall be the permissible limit to play video games?
  • To which extent shall we allow our kids to watch TV
  • How to differentiate their viewing of educational videos from entertainment videos?

Good part about this problem is that parents at least started realizing that problem exists. Let’s  discuss how to address this issue.

Rules for TV watching:

  1. Separate Viewing from Chewing:

If you allow your child to watch television while eating meal, it might make your child become heavily dependent upon it. Research shows that the particular combination of eating while watching something is a strong motivator to get your kids hooked to TV.

  1. Decide What is allowed to be watched:

Children can easily hook upon a movie or a TV series that aren’t meant for them. This is why it is imperative that you decide what is best for your child. It shall be age appropriate.

  1. Set a Family Time for watching TV

Have time when you and your kids can enjoy a fun family movie once in a while. This will give you the chance to interact with your kids and spend some quality time together.

  1. Kid’s room should not have the TV

TV does keep kids out of your way when you’re busy, but giving your kids a separate television for their rooms is simply asking for trouble. Your kids are more likely to find and watch inappropriate programs and you will not be able to control what they watch, and the amount of time they spend on the TV.

Rules for Video Games:

  1. Having fun with video games should only be allowed after children have taken care of other responsibilities. For example, parents are strongly advised to set a rule that video games can only be played after homework is completed (and completed with effort).
  1.  Access to computer/video games should be viewed as an earned privilege, not an automatic right.
  2.  Keep computers and gadgets out of a child’s bedroom. It is much easier to limit computer gaming (and monitor online activity) if computers are in open spaces or family rooms. To ensure children not getting addicted to computer games this is perhaps the first step parents should take.
  3. Children addicted to computer games will happily play for hours at a time. Although this can provide valuable free time for busy moms and dads, parents need to make sure that computer games are not their child’s primary activity or form of entertainment.

What’s Recommended?

  • Toddlers up to 18 months old: No Screen time
  • Toddlers up to 18 months to 24 months: Some Screen time with a parent or caregiver.
  • Preschoolers: Not more than 1 hour a day of educational program, together with a parent or other caregiver who can help them understand what they’re watching.
  • Children above 5 years: Parents should place consistent limits on screen time, which includes TV, social media and video games.

       

Board Games & Outdoor Games:

Encourage your child to get engaged in other activities that are more beneficial to them in both ways mentally and physically. Kids should be doing things that are intellectually enriching: playing with board games, playing with dice, playing with things that will improve their motor skills, reading skills, logics, visual ability & concentration. You need to have at least 4-5 different board games at home, 1-2 single player games and 2-3 multi-player games.

Spare time to play with your child. Cherish these moments.

Manish Sharma

Parenting Coach

 

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