Tag: Self-regulation

How to get your Happiness Dose?

A question that is always asked to me “How can I be happy?” Happiness is an art which can be learnt. If you are a parent it is a boon in your life. Positive and Happy Parenting does take too much of your time and when practiced just like any other artform leads to a better state of mind and happier families. If you pay attention to what you do on the canvas it will be beautiful piece.  It is all about the choices you make in life. Just like an art piece we use colour, we have a medium, paints, and a canvas all come together to make a masterpiece. But if any one of the elements is not there you will not get the  outcome you want. So! For positive parenting you need to be happy first yourself. Today I am going to give you a a happy pill  “The Happiness DOSE for no added cost “. You heard me right it is free.

There are four hormones created in our body when we do certain activities. When you incorporate them in your life on a regular basis you are ensured true happiness.

THE DOSE IS

  1. D – DOPAMINE    – The reward Hormone
  2. O – OXYTOCINE   – The Love Hormone
  3. S  – SEROTONINE  – The Mood Stabilizer
  4. E  – ENDORPHINE – The Pain Killer

Let me explain these are not medicines you need from the store even though these may be prescribed as pills by docs in small doses. Why not get it by doing these activities?

1. D- Dopamine – The Reward Hormone

        This hormone is created in our body when you do something rewarding. Something we can do to increase DOPAMINE in our body is complete a pending task, trying to cook something new, taking up a hobby like singing, painting. When  you complete these tasks we feel happy. We also need  self-love like a grooming,  manicure, hair cut, trip to the saloon or buying something for yourself or your child. One must learn to celebrate the little things and small achievements in life. Try something new an activity that takes you out of your comfort zone and when you achieve success you will be rewarding your body with Dopamine. Do you know that even shopping for yourself helps release Dopamine. So! do groom and take care of yourself because self care is important too.

2. O- OXYTOCIN – The Love Hormone

The love hormone like the word suggests come when we do something that shows love. When we get a hug or hold hands, we are happy. A gentle touch a kiss on the cheek or forehead makes us happy. Playing with a baby or a pet will make us happy. Even receiving and giving a compliment, appreciation, and gratitude releases Oxytocin. As an adult even sex is important. So! Next time don’t be stingy in showering your loved one with hugs and kisses or a praise cause appreciation releases Oxytocin.

3. S- SEROTONIN – The Mood Stabilizer

What did you feel the last time you went for a holiday jumped in a swimming pool, walked in the nature or walked in nature , or took a trek ? Did you feel happy? Did you feel relaxed? When you attend a meditation session does your mind feel at peace? Well! The mood stabilizer SEROTONINE is at work during this time. You can do this even if you are not on a holiday. You may ask me how? Well! You can walk in the Garden next to your house early in the morning or take a run or jog on the road. Your body is

releasing this happy hormone. That’s why you see people who are into yoga, walking, running, cycling, and swimming are in a happy state when they are doing this activity. Doing this on a regular basis will make you a happier person. Your body releases Oxytocin.

4. E- ENDORPHINE – The Pain Killer

How do you feel when you ate dark-mint chocolate? How do feel when you enter a room that smelled beautiful and refreshing? When you exercise and sweat how does your body and mind feel? When you are not well i

n pain and friend comes along and makes you laugh. Do you feel the

 pain was less? If you have said yes! you feel happy, better, or less pain it is true because here 

at this time Endorphin is being pumped into your body in full swing. Too much chocolate will make you put on weight so then you need to work that extra calorie. When you enter a spa, and it smells good. What’s happening? Again, endorphins are released. These are all pain-relieving activities. So dark chocolate, essence and laughter is a natural pain killer. There is a saying “Laughter is the best medicine”. The next time you are low have a laugh.

You need to BOSS YOUR MIND and BODY to become happy and make sure you get your happiness dose everyday no matter what.

Now! That you know all the things you can do to stay in a happier state on mind you can apply this also with your children. Go down and play with them in the park, take a walk, play new games, laugh, dance exercise together.  Give a task to your child and reward them accordingly too.

Follow the HAPPINESS DOSE mantra to be a in a Happier state of mind. Remember theses activities are not just YOU BUT FOR YOUR FAMILY TOO

Sandhya Lal

HOW TO HELP WITH EMOTIONAL DYSREGULATION IN CHILDREN

HOW TO HELP WITH EMOTIONAL DYSREGULATION IN CHILDREN

 

If you’re a parent, chances are you’ve witnessed a tantrum or two in your day. We expect them in two-year-old, but if your child reaches school age and meltdowns and outbursts are still frequent, it may be a sign that they have difficulty with emotional self-regulation. And many older children, even if they’re beyond tantrums, they continue to struggle with impulsive and inappropriate behavior.

What is Self-regulation?
Self-regulation is the ability to manage your emotions and behavior in accordance with the demands of the situation.

Problems with self-regulation manifest in different ways in different children. Some kids have a huge, strong reaction and there is no build-up. They can’t control that immediate behavior response. For other kids, distress seems to build up and they can only take it for so long. Eventually it leads to some sort of behavioral problems.

Why do some kids struggle with Self-regulation?

When parents give in to tantrums or work overtime to soothe their children when they get upset and act out, kids have a hard time developing self-regulation. In those situations, parents become their external self-regulators. If this pattern happens again & again, and a child is able to ‘outsource’ self-regulation, then that might develop as a habit.

How do we teach Self-regulation skills?

See acting out is essentially an ineffective response to a stimulus. We need to help the child slow down and more carefully choose an effective response instead of being impulsive. If we approach self-regulation skills in the same way we approach other skills and provide practice, rather than pointing bad behavior it changes the tone and content of the feedback we give it to our children. Rather than giving up, try paring down the activity so it is more doable, and slowly give your child more and more independence to handle it.

Pro-tip: Expecting perfection from ourselves may actually increase tension and negativity.
we should keep working on our own emotional muscles, accept ourself & our family for where we are in the process. It’s never too late to start!

Regards

Swati Mahajan

Parenting Coach