This morning, my phone buzzed for the third time. It was Aanchal again.
Aanchal is one of my close friends, and she’s been struggling in her marriage for quite some time now. Her voice trembled as she described yet another argument with her husband, Rohit.
Their problem isn’t uncommon, yet it feels deeply personal: they both have drastically different approaches to parenting, shaped by their unique childhoods.
Aanchal grew up in a strict household, where rules and discipline overshadowed freedom. Because of this, she has vowed to raise her children with complete liberty, encouraging independence at every step.
Rohit, on the other hand, was raised by a narcissistic father who imposed his authority on everything. Unfortunately, this upbringing has left its mark on Rohit, and he unknowingly exhibits similar traits. He insists on being the ultimate authority, believing his perspective is the only “right” one.
As you can imagine, their opposing styles have created a tense and stressful environment at home. Their children, caught in the crossfire, are starting to bear the emotional toll of their parents’ constant disagreements.
Listening to Aanchal, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own parenting journey. As a mother of a teenage son, I’ve faced my fair share of challenges. I’ve always believed that parenting requires a fine balance of love, discipline, and open communication. Even though my son, Raghav, was born after eight long years of marriage and is the most precious part of my life, I’ve never let my love for him cloud my ability to set boundaries.
Children thrive on clarity and structure, but they also need to feel loved and heard. With Raghav, I’ve made it a point to build an environment where he feels comfortable sharing his thoughts and opinions openly. Whether it’s discussing his daily experiences at school or his aspirations for the future, our conversations are always honest and judgment-free. This openness didn’t happen overnight; it’s the result of years of consistent effort to build trust and mutual respect.
That’s why, when Aanchal called me today, I urged her not to give up on her marriage or her family. I suggested they consult professionals—a marriage counselor to help rebuild their relationship, and a parenting coach to guide them toward harmony in their parenting styles. Sometimes, an objective perspective can help couples see that their differences aren’t insurmountable, and that their shared love for their children can become a common ground for unity.
Parenting is never easy, but it’s not meant to be a lonely journey. Seeking guidance isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a step toward building the life you’ve always wanted for your family. If Aanchal and Rohit can take that first step, I believe they can rewrite their story—not just for themselves, but for their children.
